IF YOU DON'T KNOW..........


Many states have weird sex laws describing in ridiculous detail what their citizens and animals can or can't do while lovemaking. Most of them are still practiced and followed with submission as the lawmakers have shied away from removing them, fearing conservative attacks. So, folks, make sure you follow these laws if you are in any of these states listed below, if not you may find yourself behind the bars or burning in the hell forever.

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals. However the animal should and must be a female. Sex with male animals is regarded as a capital offense and the offender is imposed with a death penalty.

Under Guam law it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. Therefore there are men in Guam whose full time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time.

In many Middle Eastern countries it is prohibited to eat the sheep you had sex with.
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.

Oklahoma has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.

In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.

Iin Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.

A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.

In Arizona keeping more than two dildos (adult toys) at home is prohibited.

In Massachusetts a woman is not allowed to have the position of "woman on top", during lovemaking.

In U.S having sex with a corpse is forbidden

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband but by using only her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.

In Ventura County, California cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

Now....... who's the crazy bastard...??!!

Sigh.....

Monday night..... nothing on TV....... HEROES?? that is soooo passseh.....
Monday night..... nobody to talk to...... nobody to bother eh.......
Monday night..... too much work to do ...... brain can't do.....
Monday night..... starts thinking of you.... but don't know which one is you.....
Monday night..... still looking for you...... but which one are you....??
Monday night..... I'm still feeling blue..... as blue as the pinch you used to.....
Monday night..... soon it'll be over..... but, but will I be sober?

*******************************************************
Pity the Wet Pussy.......

NO MORE DRAGON-BOATING.......
here's something more challenging......






A new water sport in which contestants row a boat made of a single bamboo cane has been invented in China.
Villagers from Chishui, near Zuiyi city, came up with the idea.
They make the boats out of locally grown bamboo and hold races on the Pinzhou River.
"Participants can sit or stand on the piece of bamboo, and with a thin bamboo oar, they race and compete at other tasks," explained one villager.
Villagers say the races have become a popular local attraction and hope the sport will spread across the region

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See.... I'm not B*tching about anyone anymore. I'm now getting into on-line journalism. Imploof yor Ingrish....

"LOVE ALL, SERVE ALL...."














"SCREW ALL ........OF YOU!!"

Oh well........ Don't know why but I have to put this up again.

I'd appreciate if readers of this blog read the DISCLAIMER notice at the side bar. Any posting that resemble any situation or anyone is unintentional, and has no particular agendas. Take note that some postings may be fiction, and is intended for reading pleasure only. Be reminded that the world does not evolve around any particular individual...... not even if you have extra tities or dickies.

I'd like to express my utmost gratitude to all who have dropped by to read, laughed and get pissed with the postings I've made. Friends have been made from this blog, enemies are still reading and kept it in lock.

If any of the postings here are deemed harsh and irrelevant, I suggest you re-direct your reading to other peaceful sites such as www.peaceful-reading.com.

Thank you in anticipation and best regards. Happy peace-ful reading.

blogger burger,
RAZAQ

#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@

what do you think is wrong with this....??

something is very very wrong... but what?!
...and NO, i'm not talking about anybody either....

anyone who spot the 'wrongness' of this pic will get an
"ALL ACCESS PASS"
(includes passes to toilets)
to eM Studio this Friday, including a bucket of TuBorg.
(you have to share the bucket with me!)
and free ENTRY for 5 of your mates.
(offer valid before midnight)

"I TOLD YOU SO.....!!"

I hate it when I'm right........I hate it when things that I've said will happen and nobody takes it seriously. Now that it has happen, THEY look away. if my calculations are right, it'll be 2-in-a-row.

and I hate it when old ghost starts haunting you again. If you want it, come take it. Don't mess with my head. If you want something, come ask for it. If you behave, you'll get everything back as it was before.

Anyway, not in the mood to rant......

Thanks to everyone who turn up at Dazed Out. It was freakin' awesome.........

The time has come to prove what team-players mean, or WHERE the sense of belonging is........ it will be a fight to the end, Race to the finishing line! With the bunch or RETARDS behind me....... I'll bet my lungs we gonna hit it. In fact, I'm already calculating next month's target. I'm not trying to count the eggs before it hatches...... its just my confidence with the team. If they can hold on to NOTHING for the last 9 months....... this LAST sprint should be a breather.

There might be an after-party...... provided all is well.

Now..... for the rest of you who thinks too much, talk too much but nothing moved..... come down tonight and show me your support..... if you have one.

Nuff said.......

Bring me my cookie.

Rob says, "YOU CAN DO IT..!!"

There you go....... I'm off to Sri Lanka, for the biggest beach party in Colombo, with 6 of the BEST Sri Lankan DJs. This is their version of Miami's WMC parties. What made me decide to take this gig is because APPLE is the major sponsor.....!! and of coz all the booties....... I hope.

Here's our "MENU" for the coming weeks.......

- I think I've done on the sofa
- I think I've done in the hall
- I think I've done on the kitchen table
- let's go OUTSIDE ......where there's sunshine....
- and in the moonlight, take me to the place I love best.......

After listening to Yukun's warm-up set for DJ BARU last night, I been listening to Diana Ross' "I'm Coming Out...." - nice classic track. and also Ce Ce Penis-ton's "Finally..."

hmmm............

Something for the weekend........


Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both Disappear at
night.

Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.

Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward...forward. ...backward...forward. ...backward.
....forward. .. stop and eject.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it
doesn't come means you are in big trouble.

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A teabag.

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology. When the baby
looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.

Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I
have advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters
the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
Answer: The boy's hand.


If you think you're down on luck, think again. "Screwed and getting screwed.... bad-luck is an understatement." Unless, you're as sadist as the mouse.

FRIENDS WILL NOT LET YOU FALL.........

When you put down your foot and decide to stop having a bad day, you'll find, to your surprise, that it actually works! Most of the things we let ourselves get upset over seem unimportant a week later, and a couple months later, we can't even remember them.


Be Happy Even On A Bad Day
You only have bad days if you think you're having one!

Here's something that I want to share with you people. Hoping for a better future.......

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, Father, remember Psalm 129. The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, Father, remember Psalm 129. The priest apologized, Sorry sister but the flesh is weak. Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory".

Moral of the story: Know your job, if you are not well informed in your field, you might miss a great opportunity.

I'm not sure if I've become a boring person, demanding consumer or expecting too much from something too little. I think the local tv programmes are getting from bad to worse. I'm not one of those people who watch tv that often. So, when I do get the chance, naturally, every programme should be interesting, or at least worth checking out. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

I realised that the same people appears on tv nearly 5 times a day. That, I think is visual pollution. The next time you watch tv, try counting how many times you saw Gurmit Singh, Adrian Pang, Fiona Xie, Michelle Chia and Andrea Fuckseca comes on. (I'd rather the latter cum on tv....)

With no apparent reason, i got a glimpse of Deal or No Deal on tv....... (I heard someone said, "Dew or No Dew") - shut up guys!! it got nothing to do with watching Cookie!!
It happen to be the pilot episode for season 2 with celebrity guest, Fiona!!! damn it!! she was irritating....loud, and a show-off. and I think she didn't know how the game is played. Pity the charity organisation they were playing for. Soon, they gonna have the Hunks episode. To some, its eye-candy watching the girls and guys (I used to think so....) to some it could be an eye-sore (yea, just because I'm not dating one of 'em anymore, I can say that. call me sore-loser..... NOT)... but the argument here is ..... where have all the creativity gone to..??? Some people say all the creative people are in Mediacorp. I beg to differ. Why can't they have an episode with all the 'divas', transverstites, impesonators and drag-queens...?? wouldn't it be cool??!! it'll add colour and FUN. Yeah, thats the word....FUN!! 26 of the drag-queens in one episode will sure be 'heaven & hell' in the studio. Btw, 'beautiful' is not beautiful anymore.

After watching "Dew or No Dew"...... came another programme, which is totally dedundant. FOREPLAY. Got nothing to do with sex, no.4, or whatsoever. Its just about Eunice, 4 super-bimbo (who can't act, can't smile, can't pronounce proper English words, no sense of rhythm and unfriendly to the tv cameras), talking about cars...... costing $1/2 million dollars.
Do they realise that people who can afford those cars don't watch tv.....? they are out racing with peers to screw as many females as they can...... and the fact that they interviewed Hafiz Koh (local race driver) about the Mercedez SLK. He made it look like it was a stud from the Centro Boy's Club....... no prizes for guessing what he prefers for breakfast. I'm sure its banana shake rather than orange squeeze. They girls are awfully wrong, except for the NMP Eunice in hot-pants! First, the government trying to imposed extra charges on the road to curb the number of cars. Then, they made a programme about which car to buy...??? Right-on!! Why can't they make programmes about abusive girlfriends, beautiful-cheats, ugly-cashiers, fat-cows or rude-bartenders? Worse still, they should make programmes about sensitive, humourous, talented, not-so-rich single guys. At least, it'll relate to some of the viewers out there.

There you go, instead of just complaining, I gave ideas. That means I'm being constructive and not just a critic.

The irritation didn't stop there. After the FOREPLAY programme, came TAB TV discussing about a very important issue...... "Internet Gaming Addiction and Illegal Surfing over Unsecured Wireless Connection........."
Do they realise that there are more important issues out there......?? Do they know about FACEBOOK addiction..??? How about Topless internet Surfing...???


I shall not argue anymore.........

"....left to be desired, argued and contemplated......."

btw, it looks like 4 male feets.........

OK boys...... enough with the "Sperm-Donation" thingy...... time to get off the topic and move to another......
the following post is a contribution from a friend in Malaysia.


Recently Malaysian Government has rejected the proposal to employ women from China as maids.
The Cabinet did not agree to the proposal by the Malaysian Association of Foreign Housemaids to allow Chinese maids to work here.
He said the recent government decision to allow maids from India, Nepal, Laos and Vietnam was to diversify sources of maids “so that we are not too dependent on any one country”.
In an immediate reaction, the association urged the Government reconsider China as an option by taking into account the constant difficulty in sourcing for maids from Indonesia and the fact that 80% of households that hire maids are Chinese. Below are the main reasons why China maids are rejected.


China Maid doing washing


China Maid still trying to wash


China maid trying to .........


Maid from Laos


Maid from Indonesia


Maid from Vietnam


Maid from Nepal

Get what I mean.........??

The Sex Fairy .Have you ever received this Chain Letter before??
This is hilarious! Be sure to read the warning at the bottom. I didn't change a word! I'm not messing with the Sex Fairy!

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2 Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The "Hot Sex Fairy" will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on.

If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.

Do not keep this message. This message must leave your e-mail in .5 hours. Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days.

Since the copy must tour the world, you must send it. This is true, even if you are not superstitious.

Bloody hell!!.....I have send out 20 copies to my friends and Nothing happened.
I think the Sex Fairy must be a male. If he turn up I sure hantam wan. KNN

SPERM DONATION IS BIG BUSINESS IN CHINA!!







They said that the sperm produced with 'an extra hand' is better than DIY. Moreover, they pay better than the western countries. What you waiting for...??? pack up la!!! go and donate...... help mankind, the kind that they want....!!!

No Bra Day........



Have you ever wonder why MEN are always ON TOP....??!! Was it trick or treat....?? Its ok if your IQ is lower than 30..... or you don't even understand what IQ is...... as long as you got to be on radio and magazines.

In conjunction with the weekly charity drive, here are the .......

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO TO MODELS (or else.... we'll report it to the SPCA)

1. Give them too many drinks (they'll get drunk, lost conciousness, and report that their drink was spiked)

2. Look at them...... (coz they'll think they are really beautiful)

3. Smile at them......(coz they'll ask for more free drinks)

4. Show them where the toilets are.... (they think its a love nest)

5. Help them down the stairs..... (time consuming, just push them down. Its faster)

6. Give them cigarettes.... (they'll tell others to take from you)

7. Play their favourite song..... (coz they'll start dancing and its an awful sight)

8. Play "WHITE HORSE" ...... (some wants to be a jockey, while others try singing in their native, eastern european language)

9. Take their photos..... (it'll spoil your camera)

10. Don't speak in English.... (coz they'll try asking 20 other stupid questions to irritate you)