"They way you make me feel...."

Many a years ago, when I growing up, I was in a school who had one of the best dance crew on the island. We were always getting invitations to perform at other schools events, corporate events and event shows at the malls. Those were back in the 80s. Why were we very good at that time? It is because, all of us wanted to be like Janet Jackson and Micheal Jackson......... YES! We wanted to be like MJ!! We would try and imitate the Wacko even at how he dress up. Our pants were shorter than the school's expectations but we were damn good! well, except for me..... I was just OK.

Many years past, some of my school mates went on to become teachers, doctors, bankers, drunkards and assholes. Me, I went on to pursue my dream of performing in front of crowds, whether its DJ-ing, playing in a band, dance, emcee-ing or even stand-ups. Maybe, I was a lil' like MJ, always seeking attention, confused and the refusal of growing up. The only difference is........ I don't like smelling young boy's booty.

This morning, I woke up to a phone call from the States. Jermaine called me to say that his younger brother had passed due to heart complications. It was dreadful way to start a Friday.




Immediately, I felt something thingly in my stomache. I remember clearly that he was the only artiste that my parents would sit and watch with me. And of course, I grew up watching him and few others. That thingly feeling in the stomache was still there....... I had to run off to the toilet quickly.

While in the toilet, I reminisce the days when we would dance to Micheal's songs at FIRE Disco, imitating his dance moves. Then, I started to think and join the others in mourning. It feels like MJ had something to do with my life. Maybe, what I am now is all because of MJ. Like the rest, I went to FACEBOOK and poured my deepest feelings about the Wacko. Suddenly, everybody is sad that he was gone. At least he didn't go alone. He hitched a ride together with Farah Fawcett and Ed McMahon.

Much later on, after the 'thingly' feeling, I realized...... Damnit!! MJ got nothing to do with my life. He didn't even know or remember me. Even though we met at Mt. Elizabeth Hospital many years ago, I don't think he remembered me. Yes, I grew up listening to him, but I also listened to Scorpions (its a Mat Rock thing), Madonna, Naked Eyes and Helloween. In fact, I got to where I am NOT because of MJ..... damnit!! I had to sacrifice my own shit to get here!! While I was working hard, MJ was in Neverland, playing with young boys. I had sacrifice family, relationships, time and more relationships...... and MJ was not there to lend me his glove.

I'm sorry that his time has come. Yeah, it's sad that an icon has left us. But, will life stops here? Are we gettin' tax rebate for mourning the whole weekend? If I'm gettin' laid for mourning, maybe I'll do just that. Girls love sentimental guys, don't they?

Frankly, I am quite saddened by his passing..... BUT, I didn't feel as much when James Brown left. In fact, I'm more saddened about a report by some American red-neck group saying that ALLAH is the younger cousin of SATAN and Muslims are nephews of SATAN (huh? Satan got cousin's and nephews??)

Anyway, its a Friday. Mourn at your most convenience. If you need a shoulder to cry on, let me know. To add to your misery, here's something to piss you OFF!! Biatch!!



Katt did this stand-up a couple years ago...... he's not feeling sorry, so do I!!

RIP Micheal Jackson

I'm Just Itching to blog again........

Here's a lil' tinker for the couples out there...... especially married couples who're trying for a baby. Actually, it got to do with the techniques of 'trying for the baby'........ I'm not an expert in these things, but after reading and some 'editorial research', this is what I have found and sharing with all you funky MOFOs .......

We all know how babies are 'made', the laws of the human anatomy and biology. However, sometimes we are quite unsure how to prevent some things from happening, e.g. how to make sure that your baby is not gonna be a deaf-mute Gay, anorexic, fat or an idiot.

It all starts from foreplay. Yes, it is not during the 'main course', its not how the throbbing rhythm, which position or the kind of noise that you make. Its what you do during FOREPLAY!

Let me explain this. (I didn't make this up. It is a collaboration of myths and beliefs from different tribes of Niggadom.)

If the husband were to go down on the wifey during foreplay, (I'm referring to the use of tongue. Some of you think 'going down' means 'playing with the toes') ...... chances are the baby will have soft, tender skin, with rash-deterrant tissues to protect its tenderness. The rationality to this refers to the molecules from the tongue's reaction during contact with the vagina. This anatomy process is called the 'Vagina Tandoori'.


Directly opposite from that is the female's technique of going 'Low'. Just like the stupid Flo-Rida song, without the right knowledge of the action can cause severe unhappiness for the nation of united idiots. Affectionately known as 'blowjob', it is definitely not as easy as blowing anything. Sometimes, I'm not sure when the 'blowing' comes to affect. I'm sure there are some who literally tried to blow and suck......... as hard as they can. Be careful ladies, you don't want to suck too hard or your man might look like .......


...... and again, the art of 'blowjob' is not that easy to achieve. However, you can start by clicking this. Once again, be careful at how you blow..... too much of blowing will make your babies look like ..............


Be careful....... it may be cute at first. Eventually, the baby will grow up as big as possible due to the fact that the air from 'blowing' will get stuck in the genes of the baby. The end result is unsightful and something you might want to stay away from.


To summarize today's session, before engaging yourself in any action, please understand the meaning, situation, and have a thought of the end-result as it will affect you and people around you. As much as the world does not evolve any individual, it does help to at least give your a girl the finger-job after her willingness to explore Down Under.

*this post is literally dedicated to all the giggly girls who think that they are God's gift to men. The fact is, they are as clueless as their girlfriends and Flo-Rida-wannabee-Mat-boyfriends.

On a different note, you can't help but think that this baby will grow up and do a good blow-job......... as a good trumpeter. (u and your filthy minds!!)

re-directed to.......

The Tektilist Propaganda

till next time..... this blog is undergoing re-construction for your viewing, listening, and humouring pleasure.

Its a moral responsibility for me to put this up.......



I have never got excited for a Hip Hop track since 4 years ago....... this is real Hip Hop.

From one DJ to another......

I think y'all are whack!! Act like you know, but you didn't even get to show.....
stop talking, quit wanking, show some respect when u see US coming!

Y'all are whack!!.....

*Take note fans of this blog and fellow bloggers......... this blog page will be taken out in 7 days. Thank you for all the support, response and motivation during my presence here. For future correspondence, you can find me via Facebook, Hotmail, MySpace or .......... The Straits Times.

Good Luck and God -Speed

Be a traveller, not a tourist.

When you are a tourist, you'll only find shopping malls, restaurants, bad service, crap food and cheating taxi drivers. In fact, some will charge you for having your photos taken with a monkey.

A traveller usually ends up in someone's place having the best family dinner, shop from a run-down shack and spent $5 for a t-shirt that says, "Tuesday is Milk-Day". Travellers don't meet cheating taxi drivers but friendly cyclist who lets you ride on their motorbike into the next town, and, you'll get to take fugly photos that express 'eternal freedom'......

Usually the traveller gets to ............... the village-head's daughter, and you'll live happily ever after......

Regardless of race, language or religion.....

So as to achieve horniness, prosperity, and progress for our......

This is Hypo-Matic....... 'live' in Phuket - 18th Aug 2008.

If God uses Mac, he would be listening to KISS......

Shit man!!! I missed this party!!...... I heard they serve fresh milk.

What's playing on your iPod, iPhone, iPod Touch, MacBook, Serato, discman, walkman, MP3 player........

Mine is ................




"Nasi Wa Woo Ji Pa Ban,........ Wa wooo Ji Pa Ban......."

10 Reasons Why You Should Date a Russian Gymnast

1. They are THE Eastern Europe beauties...... with talents.

2. Well-toned bodies, fit and properly-aligned. Muscles in parts of bodies that you can't imagine.

3. They look good in gym-clothings, costumes and God-knows-what-else.

4. They have very good sense of rythm.

5. Flexible in any positions, any angle, any situation.

6. Composed, confident and cool.........

7. Has the ability to smile in difficult situations and positions.

8. Should date them now before they grow old and become Russian sluts in Orchard Towers.

9. Can insult them in Hokkien and they won't get angry (unless they understand).

10. Can teach them Hokkien, yet they won't get angry if you insult them....... in Tamil!

Aight......!! Enough already! You people gotta stop with asking me the same question this past 2 days....... Yeah, that's my real tongue, no, its not a prop. Yeah, its kinda longer than the average human. Does that make me a freak.....?! Some of you may find it freaky, some may start imagining things. Whatever it is...... its not gonna make me any richer. So, quit with cynical gestures. For all you know, I'd be the 'lucky' one........

Clicks & Clitoris.........

Up yours, biatch!!

You haven't seen anything, yet!

Carnales......

Cholos.....

Banditos & Burritos

Sneak preview of what's gonna come in the next few postings........

BLAST FROM THE PAST ...........!!!


All the ghost of yesterdays are popping out from everywhere.........


and maybe..... I should go back to wearing sarongs and dreadlocks again. And of coz.... start lazing at the beach again. Work can wait......

As this post is in progress, the NDP 08 is concurrently running on tv or wherever that place is. And the only reason I had to post this is because I can't believe the lack of creativity, sources, ideas and everything else for this year's NDP 08. I can't remember when was the last time that NDP was really really a bore. It is sooooooo boring and uneventful that I don't even have any picture or video to resemble such bore........ You are really living up to your name, SINGABORE..........

There was literally nothing to gawk at..... What happen to the knowledge of technology, concepts and style? Now, it really resembles the clubbing scene and other entertainment ideologies.... BORING!

Throughout the parade, all they had was boring patriotic songs and all the uniform groups. It is really looking like the North Korean National Day. And....... what the hell does the ERA property developer group involve in the march?? Water fountains and sprouts for NDP 08?? Hallo, if wanna see all that, we can go Bugis everyday la!!! Sentosa also got water fountain and fireworks every night!!

Maybe this year not enuff budget coz all the money has gone to the F1 events?? Nah....... i don't think so..... I'm sure there are tight-ass-high-ranking-muthafarkers who think that they are the 'creative' ones, fickle and waiting-for-their-friend's-advice........ just like any other people in the many companies in Singapore.

Btw, this Monday the clinics are gonna make lots of money........ the people involved in NDP are all gonna report sick, citing fever from the rain.... heheeehhe......

National Day should be celebrated in a different manner for once.......... no parades, rehearsal, traffic jams and such....... They should give a 10% tax rebate to the tax payers for contributing to nation building, No ERP for 1 week leading to 9th of August, and on 9th of August, there shouldn't be any telco charges to Singapore citizens........ and stop giving medals to old people who are dying soon....... give it to people like us who actually put Singabore in the international scene. Stop inviting old people to Istana for dinner, invite Aldrin, Yukun, Me, Rattle, Godwin, Ollie, Electrico, The Great Spy Experiment, and others like us. The government personnel should try the JagerBomb during national Day dinner....... it'll be fun. Trust me.....!!

And I don't understand why they play the U2 song - Beautiful Day during the NDP....?? They should play my song - WHO SHOOK MY WHORE...?! - Let the younger generation understand what the real world sounds like....!!

How? can or not?

Pic courtesy of an ol' buddy from school......... (thanks to Facebook)

I look so sacred, innocent and fragile......... and sober.........

Those were the days.........

Onward we march......... for the future......??



Birthday celebrations...?? Who's doing the 'blowing the candles'....?? Come forth thy insigny.........

To all the staff of EMERALD HILL GROUP.........

here's something to look forward to for your upcoming staff party in Phuket.


Don't forget your digicam and handycam, rubber, moolah, and most important.... your sense of humour. Once a year, I get to be bitchy in front of the 'home' crowd. Don't try to warn me to 'behave properly', I will not behave. Too many tails to step on, too many butt to 'bitch-slap', and too many hearts to break.

Every year, you farkers go holiday but I have to keep things going..... NO PROBLEM!! This time I'll do it my way.....!!

After the last party in Patong beach 2 years ago......... I wonder who MISSed PHUKET?

Last night I had the honour of mixing ('live' sound) for one of the best local band to date, THE GREAT SPY EXPERIMENT. The location is not worth mention for as its not conducive for such band. Nevertheless, the music was awesome, the band was professional enough to 'rock' it even though there were lots of technical glitches. The crowd was kinda very 'plastic'. Not sure if they enjoyed it or even understand what's goin' on.

Next week will be another gig with them, but I don't think I'm gonna handle the mixing board this time. I'd rather go watch movie.........

Is this what you call 'ground-breaking', creative, bastardized or just plain fark-up!! Are Hip-Hop music so limited that it has to be 'bastardize' with something which sound so 'innocent' and 'free'..........

Lets face it, I'm sure many of you think this is cool........ I'm sorry, I beg to differ. Everyone's entitled to your own opinion.





... I THINK YOUR OPINION SUCKS !!