Wife is like TV, girlfriend is like Handphone (HP)

At home watch TV, go out bring HP.

No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.

Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with HP.

TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay the services will be terminated

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old,

but HP is cute, slim, curvy and very portable at any time.

Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP is high and often demanding,

Most Important, TV got remote.. HP don't have..



Last but not least........

TV do not have virus, but HP ..........may have VIRUS............... sooner or later, you'll find out.

Pick your choice..........

Missy EJ - JUICE DJ Quest Champion 2008

Aiyah........ again and again, I hate when I'm right.......!! Its not about being lucky, or good guessing game. Its all about knowledge. Being able to know how the market works, people, trends and good forecasting of industry's movements.

First and foremost, congrats to all the JUICE DJ QUEST Finalist. Everyone did an awesome set last night. Unfortunately, nowadays, its not about how good you are....... its all about how smart of a DJ you are, how many friends you have, how many friends who will come and support, how well the judges know you, and make sure....... make sure that some of your friends don't shuffle like a possessed Pei Kong and distract the judges from giving you points!!!

Once again Missy EJ.......... CONGRATS for being the JUICE DJ Champion 2008!!! Like some of US (under-rated farker DJs) said it before...........

CAN MEANS CAN!!!!!!!!

Those who miss it........ don't fret. You can still catch us in August, every Saturday night at Paragon shopping centre for the "Late Night Shopping Frenzy"..... brought to you by Paragon Shopping Centre and GUCCI.

The people at Paragon sure know their stuff....... nothing much to say about GUCCI. They know what's good for their brand!!

During the recent gig in Bangkok, I found some time to run off and hibernate in the studio with Bangkok producer SUNZONE. Located in RCA, MixUp Sound Boutique, the studio was filled with all brands and models of synthysizers and keyboards. Not forgetting, bottles of JW Green Label and Chivas 18yrs. Nice.



SUNZONE is a DJ/Producer, also know by the local jocks as the God-Father of Underground music in Bangkok. We used to work together in Ministry of Sound Bangkok, back in 2003, right after all the Ang Moh DJs left.

Its always good to come back to Bangkok and hangout with the boys.... life's more relax and everyone is not afraid to share.

OK..... Chope!! CHope!!

Its changed...... don't say I copy other people idea or whatever fuck-shit!! Different place, different people. Ya I know the place sells $3 drinks. Don't blame the player, blame the game! Don't like, don't come. Very simple. Anyway, its not an invitation. Just to point out that it was never meant to upset anyone. Never meant to copy anyone's idea, or take something that belong to somebody else.....(how can I steal something which belongs to me?..hmmmmmmm)

Anyway, its legal now. The name may sound tacky and sucky, the place maybe cheesy, the music may not be quality, the DJ may be a 'coolie'....... but the fact is I didn't bother anyone, asked anyone for help nor I beg anyone to come. I'm happy to do my own shit, even if nobody is coming. At least I don't have to please anyone.

Jager time!!

Any form of bitching are most welcome in any available portals. Don't forget to include my name so its easier for people to Google.

Btw, thanks to those who bitched about my video of the Denon DJ competition. Its now appearing frequently on bollywoodsargam.com/blockbuster

My name is BOMB........ JAGER BOMB!!

Once bitten twice shy...... once bombed, You'll want Jager again.....!!

A local DJ gets small recognition in Australia's DJ website. No wonder some of us can't be bothered to push the limits here in lil' Singabore. In fact, no point to even showcase nor try pushing what we have. Just look at Najib Ali..... back then, he was always made fun of for not being able to sing, not 'TV friendly', and being so wacky. Suddenly, after a show which he emcee-ed, watched by some Japanese producers, he became a cult figure in Japan for being 'wacky', 'crazy' and 'wild'..... and suddenly, Singapore calls him 'the-talent-from-Lion-city'......... suddenly, everyone loves Najib. Suddenly, he's TV12's icon, and suddenly he's the Managing Director of The Music Movement, one of the nation's foremost talent management company.



Aiyah............. boring oredi. Always talk the same shit......... By the way, here's some shit you can read about........

YO PEOPLE!!!!! Wasssup with the idea of infesting my mailbox with 'disappearence' questions??

First, y'all complain when I bitch about something, then y'all call be pervert with the pics and stuffs, then, y'all think that I'm crazy, then y'all complain again saying that I have lots of agnst.......

Now, I stop blogging, y'all infest my mailbox with all the questions. Alrightey, ....... y'all better decide something. Want more bitching or would u rather have me stop. Its simple. I don't wanna step onto anyone's tail, or upset anyone with my ranting........ even though it has never meant or focus on any individuals......

On a good note, its nice to know that there are people who are concern of my safety, health and bla, bla, bla........ thanks for that.

The truth is that I have been away in Bangkok for the Digital DJ conference and workshop. Busy the whole week. The organisers didn't give me a chance to 'jack-off' and do shit!! At the end of each day, I was never sober nor awake. So that's why the "NO-BLOG".

Give me a few days to recuperate, and I promise there'll be pictures and more ranting.

I'm just not happy to be back in Singapore! Last night came back to the club straight from the airport, for the Jim Beam Party. Today, gotta come back for freaking Marketing Meeting....... on a freaking Saturday night. 7 years I give every minute to the company, and today they didn't even spare me some time to be with my family and friends.

Still feeling very tired....... not in the mood for lame stoopid jokes. Not expecting for empathy or crap GAY shit........ just leave me alone.

Can't wait for the next trip next month, and the month after, and the month after, and the month after........ In the meantime, its good that the interest of Denon DJ Ambassador in East Asia is picking up. Got more reasons to leave Singabore, Singa-snore!!

On a different note....... next wednesday, The Tektile Movement is back for a 'One-Night-Only' showcase at EM By The River for the Smirnoff Black Party. It'll be the original line-up...... Just Mel & Me!! Its just to bring back good memories of what we used to have, and to succumb to all the requests to see us again.

Not forgetting also, next Friday, I'll be at the Juice DJ Quest in MoS. I'll be playing the warm-up set before the competition proper, from 9pm-10pm. Anybody want free booze and entry, beep me up. And, I'll be playing genres of music from SPEED DANGDUT, CANTO-DANCE, HIP-TRANCE, and ELECTRO-BUTO!! If you're lucky, I'll play my remix of Gersang's - Masih Aku Terasa and Search's ISABELLA!!

Piss-off!!

Take Note : I did not invite anyone to any of the parties above, I'm just telling you. So, don't go bitching about me in other portals and webbies.

I was wondering if anyone watched an episode of DirtySexyMoney, where the subject of ITALIAN BANKER came about. For a moment, I was lost for meaning as I didn't understand what they were talking about. Since curiosity killed the cat, I went looking for the Italian banker and left the cat in its cradle. Started googling it and guest what it meant...??!!

Damn!! I didn't know such thing or definition exist!! Interesting.

Anyway, never tried it, not sure if I wanna try it. In fact, I think its even gonna be a long way before its gonna come across to my head. Nevertheless...... why Italian Banker?? Why not Italian Sausage, or Swedish Banker, or Sperm Banker......etc. I don't believe it originates from the Italians. Maybe its because Italians can't do it, thats why they called it the ITALIAN BANKER!!

It also claims that, by doing the Italian Banker, one get to lose 912 calories?? Really? If a 300 pound women lies on top of a 150 pound man, I'm sure it won't be Italian Banker anymore. maybe its called MASHED ITALIAN!!

Sheesh!!

For the past few days, my INBOX has been bombarded by mails that doesn't concern me at all. I'm not sure why I'm CC-ed if I'm not getting anything or involve in it. Is it a way to make me feel envious of the privileges? If that's the reason, its not working at all. But, on the other side, its kinda funny having to know that 'somebody' may be wearing a dress, Doc Marten's boots and a cowboy hat....!! haha...... like the 'cannot-make-it-FHM-girls'!! hahahahaha.... so funny.



Its quite common that during an event, a particular sponsor may want the brand and products be featured prominently. In this case, the Juice DJ Quest Grand Finals will see the DJs decked in DM boots!! I'm wondering how will it feature prominently during their sets as the body will be covered by the console. Unless, they make the DJs parade and walk around the club to show off the boots. Heheheheh.... Another thing that they can do is to place the boots on the console. According to the Asian customs, its rude to have shoes on the table.... any kind of table. But, in this case, since they are rude enuff to infest my mailbox with all those mails, they can keep doing all other rude stuffs and f*cking rude muthafarkers their whole life. In fact, being rude is the "in-thing" right now.

Like I said earlier, if this is an attempt to piss me off or make me envious, its really really not working. Free DM boots?? Those who know how I roll would understand why. Btw, have you seen what we were wearing on all our (THE TEKTILE MOVEMENT) shows? have you heard or seen the new LV sneakers?

Anyway, all in all, its a good laugh. Considering some nearly freaked out that they HAVE to wear DM boots, while some are very very VERY excited, coz its FREE!! Since, I'm not getting any, I'll just shut the F*ck-Up.(just in case anyone is reading and decided to change your mind, I want the 10-eye White, size 10half).......

Here's what I think EJ will look like if they make her wear the boots......

......errr...... of coz minus the hair, attitude and the smelly Ang Moh odour! Oh yes, Ang Moh girls smell like f*ck!! That's why I still prefer local, Asian girls..... ever heard of ASIA BAGUS.....??!!

I remembered many years ago when I went back to my Granny's place in Santa Barbara, Cali, I also met lots of these ignorants. Yeah, they are really proud and loud, and also ignorant! No, they are not stupid. They are just ignorants and believe whatever their leaders say. Thats why they voted Arnold Susah-Nak-Eja aka Terminator as their Governor. They believe that in future, the earth will be attacked by Martians, hence, THE TERMINATOR, also their Governor, can help them!!

Back then, our neighbour in Santa B., Mrs Miller volunteered to show me around town. Brought me to the beaches, malls and some area which she claims that she saw some Aliens......??! huh?? Once, when we were in a mall, getting some food, she told me that she'd order for me as I wouldn't know 'their' food. We were actually gonna have lunch at Burger King. I told her I can order myself and I know what I want. She asked me, "You sure?" Without looking, I told her I want No.1...... which is the Whopper. She was very suprised and asked how come I know? Told her that in Singapore we have KFC, MacDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc......... Then she asked, "Where were you from again....?" - Alamak Ang Moh!!!

Another incident was when we were in her house. There was a PC in the living room. I asked if I can take a look at her computer. Her response was, "Be careful with that, its a delicate equipment. Can cause power failures in the neighbourhood if pressed wrongly." - HUH??!! wtf?!! I told her its just a freaking computer, then, again, she said, "You mean you have that in your country also??!" Alamak Ang Moh!!!

I think her husband has been watching and storing porn in the PC and didn't want her to come near it..........

And only 2 years ago, I visited my aunt in Houston. Flew in via San Francisco, then to Arizona and Houston. At the SF international airport, I got stopped by the immigration and customs officer. Spent 2 hours in the holding area, for reasons I'm still unsure about.

At the immigration counter........

Immigration Officer : (holding my passport) Where are you from, Sir?
Me: errrr.....(looking at my passport, then him) Singapore?
IO:You sure you're from Singapore? Your name doesn't sound like from Singapore and you don't look like someone from Singapore.
Me: Huh??...... How do Singaporean look like?
IO: Singaporeans look like that..(pointing to a Chinese couple at the next counter).... and their names usually has Zhang or Cheung in it. You have a Middle Eastern name.

(I'm beginning to feel lost, confused and shocked at the ignorance)

IO: Singapore is in China, right?
Me: errr....... not really. Its not even in the same region.
IO: Ok sure...... come with me to the office.

(Damn it!!...... the worst thing is that the immigration officer is a Filipino-American)


Mind you that all this events happen in the presence of Americanos, with standard education, working for the government. I'm sure that there are someone out there who have experienced the same situation. No need to bullshit...... its recorded in the video.........

I not stupid, ......... I am just farking IGNORANT!! (just like the Joo Chiat community)

WTF??!! ........ Suddenly everybody want Jazz band, suddenly everyone knows about Jazz music.... and its all because some "Joo Chiat friend" said, "Jazz is cool and sophisticated." Back then when I propose the Jazz bands, the freaking comment was, "Its sleepy!" FUCK SHIT!!

Seriously, Jazz is not cool and sophisticated. Nowadays its just plain commercial shit!! and for the bloody record, Micheal Buble and Norah Jones are not Jazz, they are freaking POP stars, just like Britney-Farking-Spears. Jazz is George Benson, Mile Davis, Ronny Jordan and yes, Herbie Hancock!

Get this..... lets see what happens if I propose for a String Quartet. Imagine string quartet in the garden of EM BTR, by the freaking-smelly 'longkang'.

I've got style in my concepts, its quite unfortunate that the "Joo Chiat Community" don't come from the same planet. Anyway, its Friday. Time to chill out and have a drink. Tonight gotta judge the Jim Beam Dance competition....... cool!! (like real.......)

Today I can't be bothered to put up pictures........ coz it gonna be unsightful!!

The Japanese have a great liking for fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So, to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever.

The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring back the fish. The longer it took them to bring back the fish, the stale they grew.

The fish were not fresh and the Japanese did not like the taste. To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer.

However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish. And they did not like the taste of frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little hashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish. The fishing industry faced an impending crisis! But today, it has got over that crisis and has emerged as one of the most important trades in that country! How did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan ?


To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged and hence are constantly on the move. And they survive and arrive in a healthy state!They command a higher price and are most sought-after. The challenge they face keeps them fresh!


Humans are no different. L. Ron Hubbard observed in the early 1950's: "Man thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging environment. " George Bernard Shaw said: " Satisfaction is death!"

If you are steadily conquering challenges, you are happy. Your challenges keep you energized. You are excited to try new solutions. You have fun. You are alive! Instead of avoiding challenges, jump into them. Do not postpone a task, simply because its challenging. Catch these challenges by their horns and vanquish them. Enjoy the game. If your challenges are too large or too numerous, do not give up. Giving up makes you tired. Instead, reorganize. Find more determination, more knowledge, more help. Don't create success and revel in it in a state of inertia. You have the resources, skills and abilities to make a difference.

It cost more than my iPhone!!

I just got a new toy yesterday. With this toy, I'm gonna stop writing any post coz its getting too tiring to write in the middle of the night, and some times my words have been taken too seriously. To fans of my nonsense writing, I apologize for the laziness, but with the new toy, You get to hear me anytime any day, anywhere. I'll be uploading all my new post via podcasting. Therefore, if you subscribe, you'll get to have me in your iPod!! You get to listen to me in the train, toilet, in your bed. As long as you have your iPod, you'll have me everywhere.

What's next?!

Once the postings are up, I'll announce it via the 'airwaves'.....

So........ what happens if someday, Cristiano Ronaldo tells Alex Ferguson that he decides to leave Old Trafford because the right-side of the field is rough. As a professional footballer, its not right for him to play. And, if Alex doesn't re-do the whole field, he will leave the club and join Real Madrid. Previously, he also threaten to leave unless the club officials provide him with personal security, which was obliged by the administration.

What would Alex do? Would he try to coax his 'star' player to stay and renovate the field? Would he give a thought about the rest of the players? Would he be taken hostage by obliging request after request? Would he explain why he couldn't upgrade the field yet? Would he start looking for better players....... not 'star' players. Would he keep the 'mediocre' team and let Ronaldo leave?

What do you think? Who do you think I am? Alex Ferguson or Rafael Banitez?