The time has come to prove what team-players mean, or WHERE the sense of belonging is........ it will be a fight to the end, Race to the finishing line! With the bunch or RETARDS behind me....... I'll bet my lungs we gonna hit it. In fact, I'm already calculating next month's target. I'm not trying to count the eggs before it hatches...... its just my confidence with the team. If they can hold on to NOTHING for the last 9 months....... this LAST sprint should be a breather.

There might be an after-party...... provided all is well.

Now..... for the rest of you who thinks too much, talk too much but nothing moved..... come down tonight and show me your support..... if you have one.

Nuff said.......

Bring me my cookie.

Rob says, "YOU CAN DO IT..!!"

There you go....... I'm off to Sri Lanka, for the biggest beach party in Colombo, with 6 of the BEST Sri Lankan DJs. This is their version of Miami's WMC parties. What made me decide to take this gig is because APPLE is the major sponsor.....!! and of coz all the booties....... I hope.

Here's our "MENU" for the coming weeks.......

- I think I've done on the sofa
- I think I've done in the hall
- I think I've done on the kitchen table
- let's go OUTSIDE ......where there's sunshine....
- and in the moonlight, take me to the place I love best.......

After listening to Yukun's warm-up set for DJ BARU last night, I been listening to Diana Ross' "I'm Coming Out...." - nice classic track. and also Ce Ce Penis-ton's "Finally..."

hmmm............

Something for the weekend........


Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both Disappear at
night.

Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.

Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward...forward. ...backward...forward. ...backward.
....forward. .. stop and eject.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it
doesn't come means you are in big trouble.

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A teabag.

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology. When the baby
looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.

Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I
have advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters
the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
Answer: The boy's hand.


If you think you're down on luck, think again. "Screwed and getting screwed.... bad-luck is an understatement." Unless, you're as sadist as the mouse.

FRIENDS WILL NOT LET YOU FALL.........

When you put down your foot and decide to stop having a bad day, you'll find, to your surprise, that it actually works! Most of the things we let ourselves get upset over seem unimportant a week later, and a couple months later, we can't even remember them.


Be Happy Even On A Bad Day
You only have bad days if you think you're having one!

Here's something that I want to share with you people. Hoping for a better future.......

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, Father, remember Psalm 129. The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, Father, remember Psalm 129. The priest apologized, Sorry sister but the flesh is weak. Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory".

Moral of the story: Know your job, if you are not well informed in your field, you might miss a great opportunity.

I'm not sure if I've become a boring person, demanding consumer or expecting too much from something too little. I think the local tv programmes are getting from bad to worse. I'm not one of those people who watch tv that often. So, when I do get the chance, naturally, every programme should be interesting, or at least worth checking out. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

I realised that the same people appears on tv nearly 5 times a day. That, I think is visual pollution. The next time you watch tv, try counting how many times you saw Gurmit Singh, Adrian Pang, Fiona Xie, Michelle Chia and Andrea Fuckseca comes on. (I'd rather the latter cum on tv....)

With no apparent reason, i got a glimpse of Deal or No Deal on tv....... (I heard someone said, "Dew or No Dew") - shut up guys!! it got nothing to do with watching Cookie!!
It happen to be the pilot episode for season 2 with celebrity guest, Fiona!!! damn it!! she was irritating....loud, and a show-off. and I think she didn't know how the game is played. Pity the charity organisation they were playing for. Soon, they gonna have the Hunks episode. To some, its eye-candy watching the girls and guys (I used to think so....) to some it could be an eye-sore (yea, just because I'm not dating one of 'em anymore, I can say that. call me sore-loser..... NOT)... but the argument here is ..... where have all the creativity gone to..??? Some people say all the creative people are in Mediacorp. I beg to differ. Why can't they have an episode with all the 'divas', transverstites, impesonators and drag-queens...?? wouldn't it be cool??!! it'll add colour and FUN. Yeah, thats the word....FUN!! 26 of the drag-queens in one episode will sure be 'heaven & hell' in the studio. Btw, 'beautiful' is not beautiful anymore.

After watching "Dew or No Dew"...... came another programme, which is totally dedundant. FOREPLAY. Got nothing to do with sex, no.4, or whatsoever. Its just about Eunice, 4 super-bimbo (who can't act, can't smile, can't pronounce proper English words, no sense of rhythm and unfriendly to the tv cameras), talking about cars...... costing $1/2 million dollars.
Do they realise that people who can afford those cars don't watch tv.....? they are out racing with peers to screw as many females as they can...... and the fact that they interviewed Hafiz Koh (local race driver) about the Mercedez SLK. He made it look like it was a stud from the Centro Boy's Club....... no prizes for guessing what he prefers for breakfast. I'm sure its banana shake rather than orange squeeze. They girls are awfully wrong, except for the NMP Eunice in hot-pants! First, the government trying to imposed extra charges on the road to curb the number of cars. Then, they made a programme about which car to buy...??? Right-on!! Why can't they make programmes about abusive girlfriends, beautiful-cheats, ugly-cashiers, fat-cows or rude-bartenders? Worse still, they should make programmes about sensitive, humourous, talented, not-so-rich single guys. At least, it'll relate to some of the viewers out there.

There you go, instead of just complaining, I gave ideas. That means I'm being constructive and not just a critic.

The irritation didn't stop there. After the FOREPLAY programme, came TAB TV discussing about a very important issue...... "Internet Gaming Addiction and Illegal Surfing over Unsecured Wireless Connection........."
Do they realise that there are more important issues out there......?? Do they know about FACEBOOK addiction..??? How about Topless internet Surfing...???


I shall not argue anymore.........

"....left to be desired, argued and contemplated......."

btw, it looks like 4 male feets.........

OK boys...... enough with the "Sperm-Donation" thingy...... time to get off the topic and move to another......
the following post is a contribution from a friend in Malaysia.


Recently Malaysian Government has rejected the proposal to employ women from China as maids.
The Cabinet did not agree to the proposal by the Malaysian Association of Foreign Housemaids to allow Chinese maids to work here.
He said the recent government decision to allow maids from India, Nepal, Laos and Vietnam was to diversify sources of maids “so that we are not too dependent on any one country”.
In an immediate reaction, the association urged the Government reconsider China as an option by taking into account the constant difficulty in sourcing for maids from Indonesia and the fact that 80% of households that hire maids are Chinese. Below are the main reasons why China maids are rejected.


China Maid doing washing


China Maid still trying to wash


China maid trying to .........


Maid from Laos


Maid from Indonesia


Maid from Vietnam


Maid from Nepal

Get what I mean.........??

The Sex Fairy .Have you ever received this Chain Letter before??
This is hilarious! Be sure to read the warning at the bottom. I didn't change a word! I'm not messing with the Sex Fairy!

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2 Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The "Hot Sex Fairy" will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on.

If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.

Do not keep this message. This message must leave your e-mail in .5 hours. Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days.

Since the copy must tour the world, you must send it. This is true, even if you are not superstitious.

Bloody hell!!.....I have send out 20 copies to my friends and Nothing happened.
I think the Sex Fairy must be a male. If he turn up I sure hantam wan. KNN

SPERM DONATION IS BIG BUSINESS IN CHINA!!







They said that the sperm produced with 'an extra hand' is better than DIY. Moreover, they pay better than the western countries. What you waiting for...??? pack up la!!! go and donate...... help mankind, the kind that they want....!!!

No Bra Day........



Have you ever wonder why MEN are always ON TOP....??!! Was it trick or treat....?? Its ok if your IQ is lower than 30..... or you don't even understand what IQ is...... as long as you got to be on radio and magazines.

In conjunction with the weekly charity drive, here are the .......

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO TO MODELS (or else.... we'll report it to the SPCA)

1. Give them too many drinks (they'll get drunk, lost conciousness, and report that their drink was spiked)

2. Look at them...... (coz they'll think they are really beautiful)

3. Smile at them......(coz they'll ask for more free drinks)

4. Show them where the toilets are.... (they think its a love nest)

5. Help them down the stairs..... (time consuming, just push them down. Its faster)

6. Give them cigarettes.... (they'll tell others to take from you)

7. Play their favourite song..... (coz they'll start dancing and its an awful sight)

8. Play "WHITE HORSE" ...... (some wants to be a jockey, while others try singing in their native, eastern european language)

9. Take their photos..... (it'll spoil your camera)

10. Don't speak in English.... (coz they'll try asking 20 other stupid questions to irritate you)

Yeah.......!!! I'm Gay too...!!!! anybody wanna do "girls-day-out"...??? single ladies only...... bring on the PINK feathers!!!

btw, I do a mean back-rub (ask Lady K), foot-rub (ask Cookie), nose-rub (ask Miss Piggy), rub-a-dub-dub (ask .....)

I'd be Gay anytime for any single, intelligent, reasonable, fit & healthy women.......... preferably 25-40yrs old, working, owns a house or apartment, has an 'active' bank account, speaks proper english, doesn't suffer from depression or any mental disorders. The ability to do 'splits' will be an advantage (but not split personalities). Apply within.

Desperation has its limits.......... unless if you're ..................

10 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T BE A DJ........


1. Because it is soooooooo over-rated

2. People thinks you're a jukebox

3. Everybody else wanna be a DJ

4. Because people thinks its easier to get laid......

5. Its not as COOL as it use to be....

6. There's enough crap DJs in town

7. There is NO such thing as "SuperModel DJs"

8. DJs have shorter life-span (especially if you talk too much)

9. Rather be loafer than a DJ

10. So that other DJs don't relate you to other animal species..........

YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE WHEN........

1. you wake up early in the morning just to watch The Martha Stewart Show.

2. your Sundays are spent playing PSP.

3. there are NO girl's number in your handphone

4. you get excited knowing that there is a new version of GarageBand

5. eating Mee Rebus at the foodcourt alone is NORMAL for you.

6. you have wet-dreams, yet couldn't figure what actually happen

7. you have watched Runwaway Bride 25 times

8. your favourite movie is Hitch

9. you spent most of the time looking at your phone that never rings

10. you think WORK is LIFE.

AKAN DATANG!!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO OLD TO STAY WITH YOUR MOM WHEN.............

1. ...... you come home and there's nothing to eat.... for the past 10 days.

2. ...... she mix your boxers with your dad's.

3. ...... Sundays are meant for you to bring her to Johore.

4. ....... She and everybody else in the house prefers using your shampoo and shower gel.

5. ....... she prefers being in your room and surf on the internet.

6. ....... she thinks you're gay.

7. ....... she starts cleaning your room the moment you go to shower.

8. ....... she let you sleep till 11am on a Monday morning.

9. ....... she ask you to burn the lastest Dangdut music from Indonesia

10. ....... all the nephews come and she lets them play in ur room coz you have lots of 'toys'.......

That's it....... i've lost it. Just lost everything..... no more energy, no more drive, no more fuel and power to keep going like this. Drained out to the max, not sure how to refuel and recover. For once, I'm very sure that I need a freaking LIFE.

Eyes crossed, vision blurred, throat soared, ears blocked and mind twisted.

I'm gonna take the best advise I've heard after a long time....... get the hell out of this country.... make the money and run. Run to the nearest deserted, un-molested and un-civilized island you can find......

Point taken.....

Deepavali (Festival of Lights), according to the Indians, brings joy to the unfortunates (not referring to the models on saturdays), and also togetherness amongst the human race...... (not referring to the race between humans and monkeys). All those lights and race aside, this year, we will not be serving Chapati and Thosai during the event, not even Tairoo (indian yoghurt).

What we will do is try bringing joy to fans of House music, with an open mind and everything unpretentious. From Deep/Soul, Funky, Electro, Disco, Bastardized, Prog and everything else in between. HOUSEBANDITS presents

DJ Smalls (ex-Attica)
DJ Yukun (ex-Centro, ex-Liquid Room)
DJ Razaq (ex-Convict, ex-Virgin)

Venue - eM Studio (ex-Liquid Room)
Time - doors open 10pm (ex-it)

*Attendees will get free invitations to Bargrooves party on 1st Dec