Oh shit!!.... I forgot there's gonna be a big gathering at home today. All the relatives, far and near, coming down for a family get-together. Mom and dad leaving for 3 weeks to Saudi Arabia for UMRAH. I'm getting a lil' jittery about everyone coming over. Its gonna start all over again....!

As this post is being written, I've got 4 aunties bitching about me in the living room. Nothing bad, they're just bitching about why I'm still a SUDA (Single, Unattached and Desperately Available). My sis just came in and told me that they invited some 'potential candidates' over this afternoon...!! No shit!! 'Potential candidates'....??!! wtf!! What am I exactly? Rapunzel? Ugly Princess? err... I mean prince.....

Anyway, it should be interesting if someone really come. I'm gonna be at my utmost best........ my first line is...."Hi, my Sikh name is Hardick, can I call u Sukhdeep?" (pronounce suck-deep)
"And btw, do you have $200k, I need a BMW325i........."

Somehow, somewhere..... I think Natalie Imbruglia or Johan Lippowitz saw a video of the Zouk's Mambo nights or dbl O's Retro Metro. I don't think its gonna catch on in the states but its a good tool for LOSERS to be noticed. So, here goes. Do you synchronized dancing and show it to the world......

Even if Natalie Imbruglia keeps doing this, I still think she is HOT!! Always be!!

There you go! The anniversary party was a blast...... No cheesy gimmicks, lame deco or crappy performances. For once it looked like a real club, sound like a real club and reacted like a real club. Music was pretty lame but that's what the brand is all about, the locals, heartlanders, who just wanna party to something that they can relate to. I would have love to play for a lil' bit but, it would have caused major problems. When things really went well and good, everyone wanna claim victory. Its there for the take. I'm not hard-up for such glory anymore coz I know I'm capable of bigger things.

As promised, we painted Orchard Road in purple last Friday. Everybody saw what we did on the streets. The club was slammed from the moment doors open and showed good figures in the book, despite of free-flow in the early part of the night. As I've promised, PRB did earn the respect it deserves from a different group of clientel. As promised, it broke the room's sales figures. As promised, the band got the recognition it deserves despite of how they were dressed. As promised, my boys performed like it was their last night in the club. As promised, I stood sober at the end of the night. As promised, I delivered what was expected.

That's all folks......... I've delivered my promises. I don't owe anyone anything. I didn't give up on anything, anybody........ Its time for me to earn what I deserve all these while........ the recognition and respect of a "TEAM PLAYER'......... somewhere else, doing something else.

Thank you for the 'music'.

Things are not as real as they see. There are some of us who never believe the papers, magazines or any other editorials. Never believe what we see. There are lots of things that happened but never get to the pages of any publications. To most extend, it's the right thing to do to maintain stability in a country's economy, peacefulness and racial harmony. Being said that, the following picture never got published to maintain security and sanity in the electronic music and DJ scene. And of coz, maintain racial harmony, again.

Most Underrated DJ - 2007

Mat Rock 2008

I thought the were no more Mat Rock in existence. It has become extinct. All 'mat Rock' are now listening to RnB/Hip Hop. Back then, only 'Mats' listening to rock and a few crazy 'Ah Bengs' listen to Rock music..... Now, tables have been turned. More Bengs listen to Rock, and more Mats listen to Euro Techno/Trash and RnB.

However, last night a few Mat Rock was seen at the anniversary party. Apparently, they rocked the night which was appreciated by some very very important people. A wise old man once told me....... (with his bong in his hand)

"Rock will never die, coz the Dogs never lie....."

There you go....... the first session with Denons went thru like a breeze. Like I said, there wouldn't be any problems at all. Like EJ said, "Just a matter of getting used to it..." Looking at the player, it is quite intimidating especially with all the buttons and stuffs..... Fortunately, the 2 DJs that started the sessions came with an open mind. DJ Kian was more adventurous playing with all the FXs and hot cues, while EJ was getting 'up close and personal' with the DN3500s.

Its really gonna be interesting what can happen during the grand finals at Ministry of Sound on 29th June. Not sure what the judges may think of the finalist, but lets hope everyone will enjoy their sets. Btw, I'll be doing the warm-ups........ don't expect anything special. Maybe I'll follow like Peter Hook or Tiesto - put iPod under the console and act like you really mixing. Apparently, the local punters kinda enjoy such gimmicks, and would pay good money to watch such acts.

Speaking of 'funky DJs'....... here's an "old Hip Hopper"..... not old skool hip hop, but OLD HIP HOP!......... DJ Kimochi 6 with the limited edition Akademiks sweats, came all the way from Brooklyn New York. He also happens to be the last surviving member of the Bloods family in Asia........

This will also be the last time that anyone see me playing with the band. I'm gonna let PAGEBREAK take the stage on their own...... no more guest bassist. Someone said, "Everything also you can do, let others have the chance....." - Sure, bring the OTHERS........

See la...... now got guest guitarist also.......... I think we need a bigger stage so that everyone can come up and jam...... the people on stage is more than the people coming to watch us play on Tuesdays.

"Huh?!.... You mean, we won AGAIN?!"


Its getting pretty boring and predictable, isn't it? The way they played is very beautiful... to some, its called "the Total of Total Football" - whatever it means. However, the standard is way above majority of the English clubs or even Spanish clubs. So, its not a surprise that they are the Champions of Europe. Tmw evening, catch me on Orchard Road, on the Hippo bus...... parading in Man Utd colours and the trophies...... (this is not a joke....)

THE END IS NEAR.........(this will be a boring post to read.......)



As days go by, I feel that I'm reaching the end of the road. I can't lie anymore. I'm not excited as I used to be, or maybe, I'm just tired of normalities and normalities are just not my cup-of-tea. Ideas are becoming very stagnant, and we are not as creative and enterprising as how we think we are. I have fought for everything we deserve, and shared with everything I have. Unfortunately, appreciation is not a part of our society.

Recently, I had dinner with a bunch of friends. Respected people in the nightlife industry. People who does all the work, brains behind the concepts and people who moved the scene. No, I'm not referring to Ong Beng Seng, Dennis Foo, Clement, Bernard or all other operators or owners. They are just figures with the moolah. I'm talking about the guys who runs the show, people on the ground........ I'm quite flattered that they all think that I'm one of them, people who determine the success of nightlife in a year or two. Unfortunately, all agreed that I don't have that much influence anymore and have been in one place for far too long. In summary, one of them said, "You stay you win; you leave, also you win...." - whatever it means.........

I'm beginning to feel that I don't need to be where I am anymore. Seems that everyone has their own bloody idea of what's right, and even if its wrong, they'll just think of a way to make it 'right'. Sometimes we need to get out of the bucket and look at what is going on in the city, not just our statement of accounts. To be able to re-define and re-invent ourselves would be the ultimate challenge, yet nothing is impossible to achieve.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter anymore whether I'm still there or not. One person can't make the difference, but it would be a great difference having an EXTRA person.

dbl O will be celebrating its 8th anniversary this Friday, while O Bar (the place where I started) will celebrate 10 years of operations. By right, this would be my final curtain call. The future of dbl O looks very exciting and prosperous. I believe, with the right people, knowledge and mindset, it will do well, internationally.

One last party......... I'll make my presence felt as how you people would remember me.

Recently, there has been lots of reports and attention regarding TESTICULAR CANCER. In some western countries, it is getting quite serious as the number of deaths from this disease is on the rise. Those who survive, however, suffers from IMPOTENCY. According to some studies from a university in Bulgaria, IMPOTENCY is also caused by 'over-exertion' of the genitals and testicles. In simple English, if the male organ gets a 'hard-on' every moment, without releasing its contents, that is called 'over-exertion'. There are lots of videos and reports regarding this study. If you're really concern about your balls, better start Googling. (its not a joke.....)

After reading the various reports found on the net, and watching the videos..... I've decided to stop watching Marie Digby's videos. Its getting quite tiring and unsafe watching her sing in YouTube. The way she sings, voice, face expressions...... can really cause IMPOTENCY and TESTICULAR CANCER, especially if not treated properly.



Therefore, I've decided to re-direct my attention to another rising talent from UK. I think she's already BIG there. Somehow, I think its gonna catch-up here in Singapore. She sounds typically sultry like a 'black' singer from the 50s.



Gonna get the CD today. See if the 'secret agent' at Cathay can give discount.....??

Last night, I was hanging-out with some old friends. some of which were former DJs and 1 who is an 'old-school' DJ. Its always interesting to hear how a bunch of the 'old boys' reminiscing and glorifying their past. Eventful nights during their glory days are meant to be exaggerated in order to gain interest on the common ear. Unfortunately, some things are just not meant to be compared with. Especially when the person talking is ignorant to the developments that has been happening in the past decade. After awhile, I became quite agitated with some of his comments as it is non-relevant and has no base of actions. So, this is where the bitching starts.......

So what if you were 'the best DJ in Singapore'....? (move on dude, that was in 1983)
The days of TOP TEN, FIRE, SCANDALS and EUROPA are over. Keep the good memories, just move on. So what if you're the Head DJ of one the region's biggest clubbing group? So what if you have groupies screaming for you every single night, so what if you get laid every single night, so what if you've played in every city in Indonesia? (only Indonesia??!)

Apart from that, I don't agree with his comments on the younger DJs and the current state of DJ-ing. Please take note "MR-ONCE-BEST-DJ-IN-SINGAPORE"..... not all young DJs are stuck up or full of attitude. Most of them may lack personality and action in the console but there are some 'jumping-monkeys' infesting the scene (which is also unsightful). He claims that DJ-ing has lost its art coz it is more digitalized an involves lots of unnecessary media formats. He prefers the 'old-skool' method of using turntables (not turntablism, just using turntables) My response to him is...... "You would understand if you travel and play internationally (oops, I forgot, you're incompetent to play international gigs), how convenient such technologies are. And for the record, we are still using turntables.... incorporating with other media formats and programmes."

Last I remembered, this particular DJ can't even hold 2 records together for 8-16 bars, don't understand harmonics, key-mixing, or even what 'phasing' is. He may have come from the 'old-skool' but not from the SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS! I'm sure of that coz he doesn't know what is XLR or quarter-inch jacks, what is gain-structure, the difference between an amp and a processor...........etc.

So........ with all that said, what makes him the right to comment on the current DJ-ing techniques, or the art as itself? Who gave him the right to be part of the DJ-culture if you don't want to embrace the developments of the art?

I suggest you start looking for a new career. Try getting out of the bucket and see what the world has to offer.

TV shows on channel 5 is gettin' crappy everyday. No wonder people are turning to REDTUBE for entertainment. Unfortunately, I don't really enjoy that particular channel as its pretty monotonous. In search of some 'proper entertainment', I stumbled upon a TV series which could be the 'next big thing'........ R.E.M. - Singapura style!!



I swear I saw one of them in one of our private parties......... they're welcome anytime any day......

An Interview With A .................



Some things just pops up out of thin air. I just found this from the YouTube while looking for other videos. Anyway, video was shot, directed and edited by a buddy, nicked SKYWAVE. Credits to Timo J and Atok Kimochi 6. Music credited to bootlegger, YUKUN.

This is latest coming from oven.......

A particular brand that quite a number of DJs brag about as the 'industry standard', has just fucked the biggest local DJ competition. The grand finals is just 1 month away, finalist selected, venue confirmed, but no title sponsor!! SCREWED! So much for 'industry standards'.....

Anyway, guess who came in and saved the day?? Coming in with better prizes, better opportunities and exposure for the winner.... (sorry to disappoint all of you) yes, its now called Denon Juice DJ Quest. The winner will walk away with a FULL DJ CONSOLE worth $8000!! Last time winner get what? Only 1 CD player?!! That's all?!

I'm glad to say that I'm not judging the competition, but I've been asked to conduct training sessions for the 4 finalist. They've got some credible judges, but 1 of them I don't know. People in the scene would know who I'm talking about........ he/she can't even manage the Serato or operate the MacBook, yet...... nevermind, its not my problem. My job is done.

Just got an sms from 2 of them. They not happy to be playing on Denons coz it might take away their chances of winning the competition. Once again, I say........"can means can....." - Its just a CD player. No big deal. Go watch YouTube (Denon DJ Asian)..... maybe they'll have some idea.

For all you know, next year Pioneer may just come back to JUICE and take back the title sponsor. If it happens, Denon is fucked. That's what its all about, "FUCK OR BE FUCKED!" But one thing for sure, the winner gets to represent Denon DJ, travel to many countries, play in international venues where you don't have to beg for, and gets treated like a how a champion should be treated. I can vouch for that as I've been endorsing the Denon DJ brand for 4 years.

After some meetings last night, I think the Denon DJ brand will do well this year. (Please say THANK YOU to ..........)

On a different note, congratulations to Yukun for finding back his path and starting a 'new journey'. Its kinda sad that we couldn't play at the Bangkok gig together. He just saved his liver! I hope I'll find my path soon. (The Duke is sad that Yukun not going...... he wanted to shuffle in front of Yukun...hahahahhahahaha)

The road is long, its gettin' cold and dark. Where does it lead to......?? Can't see no more. The further the road, the quieter it gets, lonely creeps into the path. Is this seclusion or outcast. But, I'm leading the way. Why would I walk this way, shouldn't I walk to where the crowd is? Unless........ the crowd is contaminated, infested and disgusted.... I should keep on walking.....

RETURN OF THE MYSTERY LAPTOP.....

There has been some unnatural incidents happening at our baby outlet at Gallery Hotel. At some unexpected times, this mystery laptop seem to appear without anyone noticing it. Yesterday, passed by the outlet en-route to Furama Hotel for a lunch appointment, dropped by the console to check on the music and sound. To my astonishment, I found the laptop re-appearing again in the console!! It is quite a mystery to me as this particular laptop appears only when none of the Operation managers are around. Sometimes, when the manager is around, it just sits there quietly and is not visible to the manager of the outlet. I'm sure we've tried many ways to extinguish this haunting experience but to no avail. Or maybe its there for a good reason? Some value-added services? Maybe some guest wants to surf the net or play lan-games, but they didn't bring their lap-top?

It sits quietly on the console's desk. Is that the internet
game running........(value-added only at Em By The River)

Oh ya, it is the internet game......... but on a Sunday afternoon?

See....... the CD bag has to make way for the mystery laptop

Recently, I posted some of my Denon DJ workshop photos on the Denon DJ forum and websites. Some other DJs from other parts of the world began exchanging tips on the new products. Somehow, some wanker-ass DJ from a university in UK posted a comment that says......

"Denons are crap!! Not like Pioneers, because thats the industry standard!! Pioneer all the way!! You guys are on Denons are losers.....!!

Another DJ posted and rebutted about what the advantages and disadvantages of each cd players. The wanker then posted again saying.......

"Go and look at all the clubs and see what the CD players are.....!!"

Some how, I had to post my comment and ask for his answer. Till now, that wanker-ass DJ hasn't respond to me. I gave him my personal email, contact and blogsite, just in case he wants to get personal. This was my response......(taken from the postings)

"Dude, is there such a thing as 'industry standard'..... or is it 'preferred choice'?? All those equipments mentioned are of good quality, however, all are non-living things. The difference lies on the DJ operating the equipments. Branding is one thing, but don't you have the skills to execute a party?? Does this also mean that you NEED a DUREX ribbed condom to satisfy your women, instead of just a normal condom? Can't you just please your women with yourself......?? Or you've got no GAME at all...??!! Would really like to hear your response."

Its been 2 weeks, and I haven't got any response.

Sting sang a song...... the chorus sounds like...... "I hate to say it, I hate to say it........."

For the 10th time, and 2nd year running, the trophy is staying in Old Trafford. I hate to remind anyone what I've said previous weeks. Now, just 1 more to go, Moscow. I must say its gonna be risky considering Roman Abra-no-bitch and Shevchendol have their 'gina' there. However, I should not rub it too much about us being champions again. But the fact is, Chelsea is nothing but a bunch of wankers....... leading 1-0, then at the very last minute gave away a goal. And that bloody Shevchendol, score 1 goal in a blue moon, act like score every week. Next week, Champions league final got no John Terry. Still wanna win Champions League?? Wait long long.

Lets see if my magic mirror is right again........

"Russian Wanker"

P.S. I thought that Park Ji Sung is a freaking awesome player ......go kimchi!!

Favourite food - "Pho Bo'
but I still prefer the one at Siam Reap, Holland Village

"Bang Bang"
Defination of action to off-load weapons of mass destruction.

(example of conversation)

Viet friend: Mr Rasaq, u wan bang bang.

Me: Huh??
Viet friend: Bang Bang...... Pong Pong?? You, girl, bang, bang....??
Me: Oh really......?

"Massage baby"

Massage : the act or art of treating the body by rubbing, kneading, patting, or the like, to stimulate circulation, increase suppleness, relieve tension, etc.

In the land of Viet-Cong, it defines the art of treating the temperamental part of the male organ to relieve tension, expression, and deprivation.

(example of conversation)

Hotel reception : Sir, breakfast is at 11th floor, Gym at 10th floor, Spa and massage baby also 1oth floor.
Me: Huh?? Excuse me, massage what??
Hotel reception : Massage baby.......? (pronounce as 'masat baby')
Me: errrr.......... ok.

Oh my...!! The Duke and me had a blast on our last night in Vietnam. We had a small gathering in a club called Saigon Face (residence of our Denon DJ Ambassador for Vietnam). Music was superbly awesome, people were nice, service was fast and efficient, bla, bla, bla........... We finished 3 bottles of Glenmorangie in 3 hours....... obviously, we 'flew' home. The truth is, I don't really remember much, and having a pretty bad hangover now. Apparently, last night I tipped the managers and bouncers of the club..... to the extent that we had them 'taking care' of us throughout. I was told that the bouncers even escorted us to the toilets. Total damage - US$100, SGD$100..... oh man!!

(sorry I can't post the party photos due to parental advise....)

Anyway, here are some photos of the 'aftermath'......

The DUKE, trying to overcome the hangover with
2 bowls of chicken noodle soup....

Chilli can cure hangovers......... eat more la!!

"Fan club"

Back to reality, back to Singabore, back to SingaSnore.......... back to de-motivation town. Seriously, I'm least bothered about whatever bloody event, parties or shows that is going on in town. I'm gonna spent the rest of the weekend in my room, doing nothing.

FIELD REPORT (not that anyone's interested....)

The Denon DJ Asian Tour started in Ho Chin Minh City today.  This is the first time in the history of the former city known as Saigon that a seminar cum workshop of such kind is being organised.  To be frank, I am quite flattered that I am the guy who's actually conducting this seminar.  For those of you who's familiar at conducting seminars...... you would understand at how taxing it can be.  The attention given is great but, there's too much things resting on your shoulders. 

Total number of participants - close to a hundred people, ranging from professional and bedroom DJs, producers, sound engineers, event organisers, promoters and club owners.  Everyone wants to be  part of history, listening at this 'kampung boy' talk cock at how to DJ professionally, play equipments like a real DJ, act and dress like a DJ, ........ and how to entertain like a DJ.  Not only that I had to showcase on Denon DJ equipments, I was requested to show my knowledge on the Pioneer CDJs.   To be frank, I think I did pretty fly for a brown guy.  

However, what surprise me the most was my trip to the clubs on Tuesday nights.  Realised that there are no clubs that play RnB nor Hip Hop..........fuh!! what a relieve!! At least I'm not listening to the same ol' crap here.  Every club here plays HOUSE music........not the cheesy Top 40 remixes, but the real thing........ no bloody Axwell, Fredde LeGrand or Bob Sinclair shit.... its the real deal here!  No 'mickey mouse' music or any of those "Ah Beng" techno stuffs.  The sound is real and of quality stuff.  Thumping and 'driving' all the way.  Its something like what Yukun use to play during the Gatecrasher's night at the former Centro.  In simple English, I'm beginning to love HOUSE music again.  It isn't funky, soulful or even 'dirty' ........ its just plain thumping good HOUSE.  There only setback is........... the don't understand what 'euphoric' sound is, breakdowns, and the mixes are all short.  Each track last about 4 minutes and the DJs don't hold their music for long mixes.  Nevertheless, the mixing is tight, sound is tuff and 'driving'.  It feels good when the kicks and bassline really vibrates your testicles!!

Therefore, when I did the showcase today, I got to play tracks that I can never got to drop in Singapore.  Some of the 'big' club DJs were very cold in the beginning, but later on things got warmer and we got to chill together and share tips and loose 'tops'.  Just like the previous trip in Sri Lanka, autograph sessions, photo-sessions and interviews suddenly became part of the itinerary.  All in all....... its been a good first-day session.

Last I heard, DJ Smalls making his way here next 2 weeks for a Nokia event.  Another Singapore DJ painting this town pink!! (its already red here in Saigon....... Communist country)

Looks like I may not get to buy souveniers for some family and friends.  Another long day tomorrow, and in the evening, I'll be jamming with the Denon DJ of Vietnam, who also happens to be the Heineken Thirst Champion of Vietnam.  Cool guy!  His wife is also his DJ partner in his residence club.  How cool is that??!!

Oh well....... More reports tomorrow if I have the time.  Shit!! No time to 'massage baby'......... The Duke isn't happy at all.  He hates the close attention given to us, coz he didn't have time to go 'field trip'...........

See ya tmw.  I'm gonna go get a ride home..........

Will be away for a few days to earn my colours as a VIET-COCK! (the Gen-X version of Viet Cong)...... no postings or whatsoever. Gonna be busy with the workshops, seminar, showcases and gigs. Anytime I get will be use to pacify the body with enough rest!! And, no..... I'm not going shopping. Don't bother to ask me buy tiger's penis tonic. If you want, I'll give mine. Not only that its as good as the tonic, its even toxic!!

I was wondering if anyone has seen the trailer for the new game show THE SHOWDOWN. Yea, the local celebrity 'telematch' thingy. It has been infesting the tv slots for the past 2 weeks, premiering this Thursday. Actually, there's nothing special I wanna talk about, except for the trailer where they had the celebrities from Vasantham Central (Indian Channel). Remember that one?? Did anyone watch that?

I'm just puzzled at some things when they introduce their team. First, they individually introduce their name, then they went on to say, "we are Team Vasantham central..........Yo Yo Respect......!!" - then, they went on to do some hip hop hand signals to the chest or something.........

Huh??!! "RESPECT"?? Respect who, what, when, where??!!

Aren't they suppose to come from Mediacorp's Indian channel, Vasantham Central? How come the gestures are like hip hop people. RESPECT??!! wtf?? I thought the Indian community has its own culture? Where does the word RESPECT fit in their culture?? Is this like trying to be what their not?? Do they know that their not black, but brown. And Indian culture doesn't even come close to the Afro-American people. RESPECT??!!

It's not even an episode from Ali G. Once again, are they mimicking Ali G?? RESPECT!!

This week on LUSH Mix...........yours truly, dishing out my signature sounds of everything Soulful and Latin. Poolside vibe accompanied by Mojitos and Caiparinhas. If you having an evening pool party this saturday, no need for DJs or crappy mobile disco. Just tune in to LUSH 99.5FM. The mix have been played countless times everywhere....... never fail to put a smile, and make the girls swaying those cute bums.

Enjoy!!

GENERATION OF IGNORANCE

Would you believe that despite the technology and ideology of the current life, we are indeed considered the "Generation of the Ignorant". Yes we are!! Who said so?? ...... Your bloody sister's husband's mother's God-son said so...... You got a problem with that...??!!

So what if we are graduates, who are internet-savvy, politically-informed, naturally-conscious and generally well-versed of the civilized world. So what??!! Just because you have a piece of paper that qualifies you of all the above, you can command the world at your stinky feet??! Well, that is never the case, and we're just a bunch of ignorants.

Last night I met an ignorant who decided that he could make some people happy by going against my policies and concepts. In the first place, I'm not sure if he understand the concepts or policies, in fact, I wonder if he even understand the word CONCEPT. It is even a bad idea trying to explain something you don't understand. (Imagine this senario - an Ah Beng trying to explain to an Englishman what does 'CONCEPT' means and that 'DISCO' still exist..... just like Elvis)

It is quite pathetic what some people willing to do for an extra $200 in sales, hoping for a compliment from an event organizer, and agreeing to anything requested by going against your house rules.......... It gets worst when it got to the owner's ears. And.... trying to put the blame on music was never a good idea. Music is an aphrodisiac of emotion, it is an extension of notion, and elevation of passion. Retardation is a form non-musical conformity of the mind.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that...... its quite contradicting that people would say, "I don't know anything about music, not a music person....", but they'll be the first person to say that business is slow due to wrong music played. Some things never change. There are followers and there are leaders. Some follow to lead, without the faintest idea of what's going on. Some follow their leaders to the every inches, which significantly, showed their ignorance of the surrounding and present civilization and its customaries.

*SIGH*

The game is on...... I'm waiting for what's coming. I know they are not happy at getting the 'smack' from the MAN. And I know they looking for ammunition to gun me down. I don't give a damn-shit. Bring it in on, bitch....... err, I mean, bring it on, Beng. While you're thinking of what to do or say, don't forget to clean up after me. You deserve the bump.

Ronaldo in transvestite scandal

The AC Milan footballer has been recovering after surgery in Brazil

Brazilian football star Ronaldo has been caught up in a sex scandal with three cross-dressing prostitutes.

Having dropped off his girlfriend at her house in Rio de Janeiro on Monday night, the 2002 World Cup winner picked up three prostitutes.

When they all booked into a motel, the AC Milan striker discovered that the prostitutes were in fact men.

According to Rio police, he alleges that the transvestites then tried to extort money from him.

Local press reports quoted one of the prostitutes, Andreia Albertine - otherwise known as Andre Luiz Ribeiro Albertino - as saying that Ronaldo had threatened to hit him, on discovering that he was a transvestite.

'Extortion'

Ronaldo "reported that Andreia had taken his car documents and demanded $30,000 [£15,000]", said Rio police superintendent Carlos Augusto Nogueira.

Albertino is accused of taking the footballer's documents

He added: "Ronaldo admits the facts. He said he just wanted to amuse himself, that's not a crime. To pay to have sexual relations isn't illegal.

"There's a strong chance that Ronaldo has been the victim of extortion."

When the footballer refused to pay the prostitute, the latter claimed that Ronaldo had taken drugs, and had threatened to hurt the three transvestites.

Under Brazilian law, while pimping sex workers and running establishments where sex is sold are illegal, prostitution itself is not.

In a statement Ronaldo is reported to have denied ever using drugs, and reiterated that he was a victim of extortion.

The three-time Fifa world footballer of the year is in Brazil recovering from knee surgery.

He told police he was having some psychological problems linked to his injury.

WTF is wrong with all these 'spoilt' people? They've got all the money, they can have all the women they want, anything and everything.... yet, go for freakin' ugly faggots....?? No dispect to all the transvestite, but wtf is this Ronaldo thing going after...??!! Furthermore, not 1 but 3....... I wonder what he wants to with them...... I'm sure he's not gonna get all 3 to blow him at once! Or maybe, 1 blow his dick, the other suck his toe, the other, his thumb.......

Or............ he might want the tranvestites to do 'poke' him in 3 different places...... err.... I don't know how. You all go figure it out.

Reports say that the injuries to his knees made him behave like that and do all these weird things. I may not be a doctor, but I'm sure the brains are not located at the knees. The medication may be the course, especially if they have been feeding him ketamine or heroin.

If Ronaldo is attracted to such 'beauty'..... wait till he see me 'DRAG'..............