Its a moral responsibility for me to put this up.......



I have never got excited for a Hip Hop track since 4 years ago....... this is real Hip Hop.

From one DJ to another......

I think y'all are whack!! Act like you know, but you didn't even get to show.....
stop talking, quit wanking, show some respect when u see US coming!

Y'all are whack!!.....

*Take note fans of this blog and fellow bloggers......... this blog page will be taken out in 7 days. Thank you for all the support, response and motivation during my presence here. For future correspondence, you can find me via Facebook, Hotmail, MySpace or .......... The Straits Times.

Good Luck and God -Speed

Be a traveller, not a tourist.

When you are a tourist, you'll only find shopping malls, restaurants, bad service, crap food and cheating taxi drivers. In fact, some will charge you for having your photos taken with a monkey.

A traveller usually ends up in someone's place having the best family dinner, shop from a run-down shack and spent $5 for a t-shirt that says, "Tuesday is Milk-Day". Travellers don't meet cheating taxi drivers but friendly cyclist who lets you ride on their motorbike into the next town, and, you'll get to take fugly photos that express 'eternal freedom'......

Usually the traveller gets to ............... the village-head's daughter, and you'll live happily ever after......

Regardless of race, language or religion.....

So as to achieve horniness, prosperity, and progress for our......

This is Hypo-Matic....... 'live' in Phuket - 18th Aug 2008.

If God uses Mac, he would be listening to KISS......

Shit man!!! I missed this party!!...... I heard they serve fresh milk.

What's playing on your iPod, iPhone, iPod Touch, MacBook, Serato, discman, walkman, MP3 player........

Mine is ................




"Nasi Wa Woo Ji Pa Ban,........ Wa wooo Ji Pa Ban......."

10 Reasons Why You Should Date a Russian Gymnast

1. They are THE Eastern Europe beauties...... with talents.

2. Well-toned bodies, fit and properly-aligned. Muscles in parts of bodies that you can't imagine.

3. They look good in gym-clothings, costumes and God-knows-what-else.

4. They have very good sense of rythm.

5. Flexible in any positions, any angle, any situation.

6. Composed, confident and cool.........

7. Has the ability to smile in difficult situations and positions.

8. Should date them now before they grow old and become Russian sluts in Orchard Towers.

9. Can insult them in Hokkien and they won't get angry (unless they understand).

10. Can teach them Hokkien, yet they won't get angry if you insult them....... in Tamil!

Aight......!! Enough already! You people gotta stop with asking me the same question this past 2 days....... Yeah, that's my real tongue, no, its not a prop. Yeah, its kinda longer than the average human. Does that make me a freak.....?! Some of you may find it freaky, some may start imagining things. Whatever it is...... its not gonna make me any richer. So, quit with cynical gestures. For all you know, I'd be the 'lucky' one........

Clicks & Clitoris.........

Up yours, biatch!!

You haven't seen anything, yet!

Carnales......

Cholos.....

Banditos & Burritos

Sneak preview of what's gonna come in the next few postings........

BLAST FROM THE PAST ...........!!!


All the ghost of yesterdays are popping out from everywhere.........


and maybe..... I should go back to wearing sarongs and dreadlocks again. And of coz.... start lazing at the beach again. Work can wait......

As this post is in progress, the NDP 08 is concurrently running on tv or wherever that place is. And the only reason I had to post this is because I can't believe the lack of creativity, sources, ideas and everything else for this year's NDP 08. I can't remember when was the last time that NDP was really really a bore. It is sooooooo boring and uneventful that I don't even have any picture or video to resemble such bore........ You are really living up to your name, SINGABORE..........

There was literally nothing to gawk at..... What happen to the knowledge of technology, concepts and style? Now, it really resembles the clubbing scene and other entertainment ideologies.... BORING!

Throughout the parade, all they had was boring patriotic songs and all the uniform groups. It is really looking like the North Korean National Day. And....... what the hell does the ERA property developer group involve in the march?? Water fountains and sprouts for NDP 08?? Hallo, if wanna see all that, we can go Bugis everyday la!!! Sentosa also got water fountain and fireworks every night!!

Maybe this year not enuff budget coz all the money has gone to the F1 events?? Nah....... i don't think so..... I'm sure there are tight-ass-high-ranking-muthafarkers who think that they are the 'creative' ones, fickle and waiting-for-their-friend's-advice........ just like any other people in the many companies in Singapore.

Btw, this Monday the clinics are gonna make lots of money........ the people involved in NDP are all gonna report sick, citing fever from the rain.... heheeehhe......

National Day should be celebrated in a different manner for once.......... no parades, rehearsal, traffic jams and such....... They should give a 10% tax rebate to the tax payers for contributing to nation building, No ERP for 1 week leading to 9th of August, and on 9th of August, there shouldn't be any telco charges to Singapore citizens........ and stop giving medals to old people who are dying soon....... give it to people like us who actually put Singabore in the international scene. Stop inviting old people to Istana for dinner, invite Aldrin, Yukun, Me, Rattle, Godwin, Ollie, Electrico, The Great Spy Experiment, and others like us. The government personnel should try the JagerBomb during national Day dinner....... it'll be fun. Trust me.....!!

And I don't understand why they play the U2 song - Beautiful Day during the NDP....?? They should play my song - WHO SHOOK MY WHORE...?! - Let the younger generation understand what the real world sounds like....!!

How? can or not?

Pic courtesy of an ol' buddy from school......... (thanks to Facebook)

I look so sacred, innocent and fragile......... and sober.........

Those were the days.........

Onward we march......... for the future......??



Birthday celebrations...?? Who's doing the 'blowing the candles'....?? Come forth thy insigny.........

To all the staff of EMERALD HILL GROUP.........

here's something to look forward to for your upcoming staff party in Phuket.


Don't forget your digicam and handycam, rubber, moolah, and most important.... your sense of humour. Once a year, I get to be bitchy in front of the 'home' crowd. Don't try to warn me to 'behave properly', I will not behave. Too many tails to step on, too many butt to 'bitch-slap', and too many hearts to break.

Every year, you farkers go holiday but I have to keep things going..... NO PROBLEM!! This time I'll do it my way.....!!

After the last party in Patong beach 2 years ago......... I wonder who MISSed PHUKET?

Last night I had the honour of mixing ('live' sound) for one of the best local band to date, THE GREAT SPY EXPERIMENT. The location is not worth mention for as its not conducive for such band. Nevertheless, the music was awesome, the band was professional enough to 'rock' it even though there were lots of technical glitches. The crowd was kinda very 'plastic'. Not sure if they enjoyed it or even understand what's goin' on.

Next week will be another gig with them, but I don't think I'm gonna handle the mixing board this time. I'd rather go watch movie.........

Is this what you call 'ground-breaking', creative, bastardized or just plain fark-up!! Are Hip-Hop music so limited that it has to be 'bastardize' with something which sound so 'innocent' and 'free'..........

Lets face it, I'm sure many of you think this is cool........ I'm sorry, I beg to differ. Everyone's entitled to your own opinion.





... I THINK YOUR OPINION SUCKS !!

One of the best songs I've heard this year. Very straight forward, direct, simple chords progression, good emotional relay and strong message. The arrangement is very basic, but that's what makes it good. Some may say that the song is very child-like, something that a newbie would write. But again, if you look at all the hits and classic songs, all of them are actually simple music and very straight forward.

Anyway, I use to write a song called "Ahlee". I can't record it coz I'm not willing to face the consequences...... unless I leave this country and join the Hillybillies.

Some of the lines .......

Ahlee, Ahlee,
Don't take my money,
Help me feed my family,
And don't increase GST.

For the past weeks, I have been suffering from a chronic back pain. Suddenly everything tastes awful, I can't sit still, nearly everyone around me got smacked from my 'foulness', and work has become an irritation that bugs me non-stop.

Not able to take it anymore, I was dragged to see a specialist at People's Park Complex. Specialist??! In People's Park Complex? I was reluctant at first but I was desperate........

The specialist was found in a small unit in between shops that sells herbs, winter clothing and tours to China. The whole area smelled of medicated massage oil. When I got in, the 'uncle' ushered me into a small cubicle and asked me to strip to my boxers. Showed him where the problem was, and he went for it straight away!! Damn!! I nearly had tears but it was ticklish at the same time. After awhile, I got used to it and it felt better.

During the 'session', the uncle made small talk and guessed that I had the backache for awhile already. He said it was caused by 'stress' and unbalanced lifestyle. Wow!! Its amazing that a stranger can tell so much about you by only massaging your body. He also guessed correctly that I was still single and not getting much of ".........din da da...." He said, if I was married, getting a lil' somethin' somethin'...... I wouldn't be getting such a bad backache. He continued........" You very handsome and cute. Long hair and got style, why no girlfriend or not married??" - In my heart I was saying, "Uncle, one more time you smile and call me handsome, I whack you!!"

Anyway, I know it was just a friendly chat. He also gave good advise on how to ......... err...... nevermind. Tell you next time.

For the record, I'm feeling much better now. If there's anyone out there suffering from the same problems........ here's the address to the 'specialist'

PAKPOU CHUIWON THERAPY
People's Park Complex

#02-23A Singapore 059108

By the way, the whole office smelt of medicated oil. Had to apologize for the unpleasantness..... but again, if they didn't make me work too hard, I wouldn't be having the backache..........

Do you...? Have you...?
Will you......? Can you.....?

In which position would you be in such circumstances? Either, neither....... none can promise 'happily ever after'..... the emotional gamble is something that is invisible but causes the greatest impact.

Don't get the wrong idea..... the guy behind is the younger brother who has visual deficiency. Needs help when walking........

I've heard lots of stories of couples breaking up, then dating the former partner's friends. Quite a number of guys or gals say that its against their 'policy' to do that. Ethically, it may not be socially right..... but, does it really matter? If you are destined to be a 'bastard'...... JUST BE! Look on the brighter side, if you friend's gal wants you, that means you are already 'one up'. That's what we call DHV - Definition of High Value.


We should start young..... by the time we get older, we'll have the skills to survive, not be a loser and always have the interest of the socially-incorrect community of our lil' island.

So.......... everybody is making a big fuss that PCD is performing at Singfest 08. They say, the world's hippest girl group will be in town to spice things up. The girls are going giggly about PCD and their booty shaking acts, while the guys (some loser) are trying very hard to get tickets and bring their girls to watch PCD.

I personally think that it is a waste of time watching PCD on stage. They can't dance, only one of them can sing, half of them actually look like they were born as male before transforming into the female species. All they do in their videos or stage performance are just walking from one end of the stage to the other, and doing stretching exercises. It shows in their videos also....... just watch and you decide if I'm bull-shitting.



I think the government should allow the concert promoters to bring in IRON MAIDEN or other metal bands. At least it'll be more fun, real entertainment. You'll get to see animals being eaten alive, fights, body-smashing, people who think they are Satan...... it is more interesting than the girls walking around doing stretch exercises.

Last night the CREATIVE Team got together for the 'Farewell Party' of Andy Tong (The Tektile Movement). Andy left us for greener pasture and brighter future. Good luck, all the best and C'est la vie!! At least he got the balls to challenge the world........

Anyways....... here are some photos that speaks a thousand words.......

Three men and a Shibuya girl......

errr...... Creative Team meh....??

No points for guessing who da culprit

I know y'all hate it when I'm right........

Its ok..... It's legal now..... Nobody is going
against company policy. Time to spread the love....

No shit, man!!!! I was Googling the net for some events in Shanghai, then suddenly this pic came out!! Its the BIG KAHUNA, Tony (that's not Alfie isn't it.....)

Anyway, they wouldn't be reading this, so its safe. All the boys are already in Bali setting up the new outlet. Can't wait to be there with the rest of the crew......!! Time to slide into the new horizon.....

Sun, surf, sotong and screwdriver........

Some pics from the recent show in in Colombo, Sri Lanka. Recorded in a hotel ballroom, televised on national TV for the youths of Colombo. DJ standards are mediocre, but the efforts done for the local DJs are commendable. Something Singabore can learn from a 3rd-World-country like Sri Lanka.

Explaining to the Chairman of Trade Affairs why
his daughter(back to camera) should have
private lessons from me.....

Judges - Bored Phuck!!

"Where's my Crunk Juice?!"

Uninvited dancers trying to imitate Milli Vanilli

After the last trip, I don't think I'll be back to Sri Lanka anytime soon. Due to the civil unrest, its not safe anymore. Apart from that, everyone who sees me there has been asking for freebies!! Do I look like a freaking 'Santa'??

Looking forward to the Middle East Denon DJ Tour......... Ahlan Wasahlan.......

For many years, we have been enjoying Malaysia's instant noodles, MAGGI Mee. Always good, cheap, delicious and available everywhere. Some of us grew up with Maggi Mee which resulted in balding. Some of us brag to our girlfriends with our ability to cook the SPECIAL Maggi Mee. Soon, all these will come to an end. There are others who envy with the success of MAGGI Mee. Therefore, they are desperate to come and share the pie of the MEE market...... They will do whatever in takes to get their brand out!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce the new Mee in the market......

SODO-MEE

Atok fell asleep while singing........??

I remembered long time ago when I was in kindergarten, we had a favourite song taught to us. I'm sure some of you still remember this song.......

1 little 2 little 3 little Indian,
4 little 5 little 6 curry chicken........

or something like that la...... can't remember, it was so long ago...........

maybe some 'dick-head' will try doing a hip-hop version of it........ maybe that is what they call 'ground-breaking'.......??

All work no play makes Jack a dull boy....... anyway, Jack is naturally dull...... that's why he's the Google Chef of (insider's joke).......... Maybe someday Jack should learn to play like a man, not like a boy.

Speaking about 'playing', last Sunday we decided to play at the pool. Unfortunately, it was sooooo freaking hot, and there were fugly people around. So, we decided to move into the comfort of Roland's air-conditioned dining room, and ransacked his liquor cabinet!! Thus, starting the 'tasting session'...........

Yeah!! The missus is not home!!

Tasting Session

Let's see whose eyes are bigger........??

After few glasses of everything, Duke started talking to
Jacintha (the female Golden Retriever).......
Dick & Ja

Drink a pack of everything before
calling yourself the
Duke of Jibe

Sweet Home Alabama.......

A lil' reminder to myself and some House-heads.........





I'm not gonna lie to myself anymore and I'm sick of all the shit that's happening in the club music scene. I'm going back to my roots. I realized that I was never a crowd pleaser and I don't want to be a pleaser-teaser. Have never wanted to play in big parties, or hoping for the crowd to scream when you drop a track. If I ever wanna be in the console, I'll please myself first before anyone else. Its ok if you gonna find my music boring and monotonous. To each his own......... I'm have always find Reggaeton music stupid, boring and uninspiring....... I respect the music, artistes and talent to create Reggaeton hits, unfortunately, the enjoyment only lasted 5 seconds.
House has its own meaning and reasons. Some may interpret House as drug-music...... if anyone who's been 'there' would really tell you that, if you have drugs in your head..... everything can be music...... I was told that by Roy Davis Jr and Miguel Migs long ago that HOUSE music is about love & togetherness......(I think they were high on something)...... they also told me, if you got no Soul, you ain't never understand HOUSE music........

So........ I don't care anymore what you farkers think. Whether I'm a good DJ or not, if my music is boring, if I can't move people on the floor........ Some may take years to understand, some will never get it...... I'm just glad I have it in me.......... everything Soulful and Deep......

Like the Hip-Hoppers-wannabee speak in their slang........... DEEPHOUSE is the SHIT!!

Recently, I've just realized that I haven't been doing music, mixtapes, posting blogs, teaching DJ-ing, talk music, or even bothered to motivate new DJs. After a short and premature...... err, thoughts...... I find that I'm no longer interested in all the above.

Music is getting pretty boring.... its either freaking RnB, Hip Hop or Reggaeton. Its wrong when Ah Bengs are starting to approach DJ console and ask for Reggaeton. Even HOUSE music is not that exciting anymore. Too much of sleazy, dirrty electro. Frankly, it doesn't serve any purpose to the creative minds. And to the DJs that just got 'dissed' at Thumper..... for preaching 'Dirty Electro'...... whatever la Mat! You're still a Mat..... no better than Mat Yo Yo!!

However, I do miss all the DeepHouse, Soulful, SanFran sounds of the DeeperHouse. Gotta start digging the old records.

Not bothered about any new DJ-ing techniques, new DJs-on-the-block, mixtapes, sounds of NuRave or whatever they think its cool. DJs who wanna learn..... go somewhere else. No time to teach, not bothered about the money offered, and I don't care if any of you look up to me!!! Of coz you have to look up....... I'm taller than most of you..... ninkampoop!

Those who emailed and called me to argue about the practicality about DJ equipments, don't bother to wait for any answers. If you think I don't reply coz I've got no answers...... go ahead. The fact is....... why would I need to explain small minor things like why the buttons are made of rubber instead of metal, to a young punk who don't even know the difference between an XLR cable and a 'quarter-inch' jack. Since we are in the topic of arrogance....... I share my reasons and thoughts only to the engineers and R&D personnel who are directly involved in the world market..... not for just some punk who lives in his mother's 3-room HDB flat!! If you're not happy, go and complain in the forum. If you're lucky, someone will actually read and emphatize with you.

Life's direction has taken a different turn. Music is not on top of my list anymore. DJ-ing is not a priority anymore as it has lost its satisfaction and excitement. Being part of a DJ crew and act like all's cool is utterly nonsense!! To play in a band is not fun anymore coz the only 'groupies' you get are drunk, old women, who dance with no rhythm and requesting the band to play "Love Me" by Colin Gay Raye!!...... and ..... did I say that they smell??! Smell of un-shaved armpit!!! eeeeeeeeeee...............

Anyway, I have never envisioned myself to be a 'world-famous-DJ' or 'jet-stting-DJ'. I'm just thankful that I am one of the few local jocks that have actually "walk-the-walk and talk-to-the-cock.....". To know the right people in the industry and hanging out with the right people is always a good choice. To have the Denon boys backing all the time will path the way to some greater things. For now...... I'm gonna take a 'chil-pill' and view the new horizon before I actually walk on it....... hopefully, no one will get to hear this few words....

"Hi, my name is ___________, and I'm an alcoholic."

On a different note......... to the guys who was whacked by some Niggers at Boat Quay...... serve you RIGHT!!! Serve you right for not respecting their culture. Getting whacked for trying to attempt to do the C-Walk in front of African-American is not a wise thing to do. There is nothing cool about C-Walk. It is a ritual for their gangster-life. Back in States, they do the C-Walk or Crip Walk in respect of the members who died in battles, on the way to battles and challenging to battles. All these wannabees here thinks that its cool to C-Walk!!

I hope some ignorant-ass local boy goes to LA and C-Walk in front of the Bloods or Crips........ and get shot!!! Hahaha..... that'll be really really funny!!

You idiots trying to be Hip-Hop...... go la..... go..... go..........goooooooo......



And don't go bitching about Hip Hop to me...... you don't know where I get my street education. Maybe y'all should go learn and find out how the Hip Hop fashion evolve into everything big and baggy........?

Here's some advice to my Indian friends....... don't patronize yourself. Stop putting similarities between yourself and the African-Americans. They are BLACK, you are BROWN. You like curry chicken, they like fried chicken. They have less hair, you've got hair everywhere! They get high and have sex, you get a high and kill each other. When they talk, their hands move. When you talk, you head moves. See the difference....??!! Need I say more??

Now, its your turn to take the chill-pill.........

And all the Mats....... chill la beb. No need to act like Chicanos...... Vatos Locos or wat...? Go back to Bedok, Bukit Panjang and Yishun.... pay ur phone bills and don't forget to contribute CPF so that you're liable for the Government rebates. When Hari Raya come, all the Vatos-wannabees rush to Geylang buy baju Kurung.......... Chicanos my ass!! Sudahlah!! Chicanos don't wear baju-Kurung... they only wear bandanas for Hari Raya!!!