Personal rant ......

Had a very un-productive sunday..... lonely and un-productive. Some cousin, nephews came to chill at home... and disturb my rest. Grandma came along and started what she had stopped doing 3 years ago ........ she bugged me about the "M" word!!

You guess right!! MARRIAGE....!

Back then, Mom and grandma always bug me about these things.... however it stopped when I said I was gay. They knew I was joking, they knew I was busy with work, and they knew how 'broken' I was.....

Recently, we had a family dinner, whereby I brought my then-girlfriend to the party. Sort of an 'un-official' meeting session. In fact, it was the 2nd meeting. Everybody was cool about it... and the response was..."at last, big bro brought a girl home to meet us!"....

Last night, the topic came out again. Granny kept asking why I'm still single, and a super long speech about family life.

Something that they don't know and will never understand about me. Any straight and responsible guy would eventually wants to settle down and have a family. Obviously, there are circumstances and obstacles that stopped a person like me of doing so. Some people think that we guys are always afraid of commitment... some think that, because we are in the 'limelight' all the time, we wanna look single and 'keep options open'.... Does anybody understand that it's very tiring to get in and out of relationships, arguing about singlehood, and such.

Here's my answer to Mom and Granny (they don't read my blog, but some busybody cousins and nephews does. they will report this to Granny and Mom!)

1. Yes, I want to get married and settle down and have 'little-me' running around.

2. Yes, I have been thinking about my future.

3. Yes, I'm straight and prefer women.

4. Yes, I know I'm getting older (anyway, life starts at 40 - that means I'm still very very young)

5. Yes, I like and loved the girl I brought home.

6. And yes, we broke off, and went our seperate ways.

As much as we wanna be together, neither of us are willing to convert (we are of different race & religion)...... period. Life goes on... I'll keep it within my heart.

Mom and Grandma, in 2 years time, if I'm still not married, I'll let you guys choose my bride, regardless of race, language or religion.....

You'd be surprised that not only my parents and grandma are concerned...... my bosses have been asking also.

Btw, I'm not looking........ let the 'butterfly find its own nest....'

Ebony & Ivory