Why do they exist between us,
Why do they exist in us,
Why do we praise them, yet diss them,
Why do we hate them, yet want them,
Why do we need them, yet abuse them,
Why do birds still sing, when no one's listening......


ATTENTION-SEEKER

Someone who seeks attention. No, really. Quite a few people want to be in the spotlight - folks who do behavioural studies call them "extroverts" and say that they make up 40% of the population.

For an attention seeker, it's not enough to do good things: one must also be seen to do good things - not for them the low-key way of the UnsungHero. Still, the amount of attention isn't enough to go around: the demand for RewardReputation outstrips supply. Hence we have an AwardRitual and BarnRaising to help increase supply, and satisfy their unholy appetite for attention. Still, if you keep them well-fed, an attention seeker makes a solid member of the community, happy to accept the group's SuperordinateGoal if doing so will get them a little small-scale fame.

The dark side of the attention seeker comes when they seek attention by being anti-social or hostile. This can arise because the group focusses more attention on bad things than good things.... such as a community of communities that keeps talking about the dark side of things. Nobody's perfect. If an attention seeker is starved for too long, they can become frustrated and look for less productive ways of attracting praise, such as a GoodBye, for instance.

When we focus attention on the attention-seeking troublemakers, we hurt not only ourselves, but those around us (conversely, sometimes we will be hurt when we have done nothing wrong). For in time the troublemaker will move on to some other place, but they will learn the lesson with them that misbehaving is a good way to feed, and they will use that lesson in AnotherPlace. This is why in this case we try to DissuadeReputation, rather than PunishReputation.

The inherent contradiction is that we seek to educate those fallen attention seekers. We hope that they will learn the lesson that, while it takes more effort to become famous for good deeds, the fame one acquires is a more satisfying meal: Infamy is the junk food of the attention seeker's diet. Yet we cannot go to them, and tell them this, for to do so would be to feed them, and one must not feed the trolls. Instead, we write pages like this, and trust that in due course they will find their own path to redemption.

Attention-seeking is particularly noticeable with females so I've used the pronoun "she". Males also exhibit attention-seeking behaviour.

The organiser: she may present herself as the one in charge, the one organising everything, the one who is reliable and dependable, the one people can always turn to. However, the objective is not to help people (this is only a means to an end) but to always be the centre of attention.

The mind-poisoner: adept at poisoning peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions of others, especially against the current target.

The drama queen: every incident or opportunity, no matter how insignificant, is exploited, exaggerated and if necessary distorted to become an event of dramatic proportions. Everything is elevated to crisis proportions. Histrionics may be present where the person feels she is not the centre of attention but should be. Inappropriate flirtatious behaviour may also be present.

The busy bee: this individual is the busiest person in the world if her constant retelling of her life is to be believed. Everyday events which are regarded as normal by normal people take on epic proportions as everyone is invited to simultaneously admire and commiserate with this oh-so-busy person who never has a moment to herself, never has time to sit down, etc. She's never too busy, though, to tell you how busy she is.

Like most personality disorders, narcissism occurs to different degrees in different people and reveals itself in many ways. Many business leaders exhibit narcissism, although when present in excess, the short-term benefits are outweighed by long-term unsustainability which can, and often does, lead to disaster.

Caution, again....... not directed to anyone. I find this interesting as it involves everyone of us in everyday lives........ Someone told me that I became a DJ coz I was seeking attention. I'm sorry but you're wrong. I became a DJ (part-time) coz I left my job as a Front Office and Guest Relations TRAINER in a reputable hospitality organization. If I wanna seek attention, I'd cry Wolf all the time in the middle of Orchard Road...... if it makes any difference, i'm not a DJ anymore.... I'm more of a 'helper' than any other. hoping to make it a lil' easier for everyone.